Death by Bottomless Mimosas. It should happen to everyone at least once in their lifetime, and for me, that time was last weekend. It began the way anyone would expect it to: one person announces that they’re going to order bottomless mimosas and then the rest of the players all fall in line. Because that’s what it means when you order bottomless mimosas with friends – we are a team and this is a race to the most mimosas ever consumed in one sitting. Here’s how it went:
Stage 1: This Is Going to Be a Breeze – When the waitress brings out the first round of mimosas there’s no doubt in my mind we can make it into double digits before our food even hits the table. Each cup is the size of a double-shot. I could knock these back in my sleep.
Stage 2: The Game Plan – Now that we’ve downed our first mimosa and spirits are running high, we get down to business and start talking numbers. A few friends mention they once made it to 15 mimosas in one sitting, so double digits will obviously be a given. We decide to aim high, 26 sounds like a good number, right? Sure.
Stage 3: Us vs. The Bar – We quickly realize that if we want to reach our goal of 26 mimosas before they stop serving at 3 p.m., the waitress needs know what’s going on and she needs to be on our side. This is a team effort, after all. After the fifth round we decide it’s time to tell her to keep ‘em coming as fast as she can.
Stage 4: I Am the Weakest Link – I knew in my heart, after the third round, that I would not be carrying this team. Those glasses were bigger than I had originally assessed, and while my teammates are literally downing their drinks the second they hit the table, I was starting to take my time to truly appreciate each mimosa.
Stage 5: The Food Arrives – Like a blessing from above, plates full of omelets and potatoes and biscuits fill the table and everything seems like it could be okay again. Drinking is always easier when you have a few home fries to wash it all down. At least that’s what I like to tell myself.
Stage 6: Time to Tally the Score – By the time 3 p.m. rolls around, I’ve lost count of the number of mimosas I’ve consumed. A few glasses were handed off to friends who hadn’t joined the race. A few glasses were chugged and unaccounted for. But I’d like to think that I was able to make it to the coveted number 10. Sadly, none of us reached number 26, but we were all a little (extremely) tipsy by the end of the afternoon and felt satisfied with the effort we put in.
Stage 7: The Afternoon Hangover – This is the “death” stage of Death by Bottomless Mimosas. You haven’t felt true hangover-hell until you’ve passed out on your couch at 3 o’clock in the afternoon with a stomach full of champagne, orange juice and regrets.
All gifs courtesy of giphy