Get your tissues and soup ready, because the FSU plague is officially here. The one time of the year that may even be worse than hell week. It’s snot funny. For the hypochondriacs out there, here are the various stages of the F-S-Flu. For those of you who haven’t gotten it yet, save yourselves.
1. It all starts with a tickle
Many people may also know this step as denial. At first it may seem like nothing, so you avoid taking precautionary steps. You trick your mind by telling yourself “maybe this is just from singing too much in the shower?” There is no possible way that you are actually getting sick. So you discard the idea, drink some Emergen-C and remind yourself that you are immune and super human.
2. When people start noticing
At this point your sore throat has gotten a little worse but you decide to pull through it. You are sitting in class and let out a cough that eventually starts a chorus and the person next to you looks at you with disgust. To make matters worse, you head out to your meeting and your friend hits you with the, “are you ok? You look a little tired.”
3. The morning after
Remember, how we decided to pull through it. So obviously, you decided to go out to Pots on Thursday night and let me tell you, that’s not last night’s hangover you’re feeling. Everything hurts; you have a fever, your body aches and every cough feels like death.
4. The “I told you so” phase
So you’ve hit rock bottom and admitted that you are not “adulting” today. Finally, you decide to call your mom and she says “I told you that you should have worn a sweater out. Did you take your flu shot?” After promising that you will next time, she finally tells you what medicine to take and how to survive the next few days in quarantine.
5. Bring on the soup and Netflix
This is the step where your bed becomes your best friend for the next few days. You only leave your bed to use the bathroom. Your night stand becomes filled with soup bowls and cups of water. Your only form of entertainment is binge watching “The Office” for the 27th time on Netflix.
6. Back to the grind
After three days of bed rest, you are finally starting to feel like yourself again and less like a zombie on the “Walking Dead.” Time to get back to the grind. On your way to class, you bump into your friend who is still in the beginning phase and she blames you for getting her sick. You feel kind of bad but you are just glad it’s not you. #sorrynotsorry