You’ve heard of extroverts and you’ve heard of introverts, but have you ever heard of a hybrid of both? Humans are complex creatures, so like with most personality categories, it is completely valid for some people to not relate directly to one side or the other. I, along with many of my friends, fall on the side of extroverted introverts and that comes with its own slew of struggles.
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1. Having to Work Yourself up to See People.
As an extroverted introvert, the biggest paradox comes when social interaction is imminent. You want to hang out with people and you want to feel included, but there has to be a warning given before any interaction is to take place. For some, a few minutes is all they need and others need hours to build themselves up to be ready to go see people, even if they’re the best of friends. It kind of sucks, because you want to be ready immediately but your brain just doesn’t work that way.
2. Hitting Your Extroverted Wall.
When you do finally get yourself out of the house and with friends, time is limited. It’s somewhat random and you never know when it’s going to hit, but at some point, during the get together your introverted alert goes off in your head. Any and all energy you might have had before disappears, your brain turns into a glob of cotton candy, and you physically can’t get yourself to converse any longer. It doesn’t mean you were having a bad time or you didn’t originally intend on staying until the bitter end, but your social interaction meter has been filled and so then it is time for a several hour long retreat into your bedroom with nothing but Netflix and your favorite candy to keep you company.
3. The Unfriendly, Bitch Face Paradox.
So, the extroverted part of you got you to a party and that wasn’t so bad. Now that you’re there is the main challenge: talking to people. Many times, the extroverted introvert will enjoy being in a social situation, but have trouble being social, especially if they don’t know that many people at the gathering. It’s not uncommon for a friend many weeks after you get to know them to happily tell you, “You know, I thought you were some uptight bitch when I first met you, but now I know that’s not the case at all!” Thank you, friend, for telling us we seem like uptight bitches, but in reality, it’s just hard to gather the energy to try and talk to someone new. It’s not that we don’t want to talk to you or that we’re uninterested or we silently think we’re better and you are a mere peon. We are just intimidated by starting conversations.
4. Wanting to Hang out but Not Wanting to Hang Out.
To an extroverted introvert, nothing is more satisfactory than when you make plans but then those plans get canceled. It’s an odd, contradictory type feeling and is very hard to explain to anyone who is not somewhere on the introverted scale, but for anyone who has canceled plans and felt bad about it, please don’t. And again, this doesn’t mean we don’t want to hang out with people. We do. But sometimes the idea of going out and the energy needed to execute going out is more than our introverted selves can handle.
5. When Hanging out Means Sitting in the Same Room in Silence.
When an extroverted introvert does make plans to hang with friends, don’t be surprised by the suggestion of something very low key. Nothing is better than sitting with a best friend in the same room, each of you on your computers doing your own thing and not saying one damn word. Maybe you show each other a funny video you find or have a bit of commentary here and there when things come to mind, but there is no strong desire to talk every second you’re together. At most, maybe we’ll play a movie or watch a few episodes of a TV show. Your extrovert side is satisfied because you’re with a friend and your introvert side is satisfied because you are still in your own world.