Hello, ladies:
It’s getting cold outside. The leaves are falling. You’re holding your blanket tighter at night, and hot cocoa sounds good when you wake up. Am I right?
Let’s not forget that Santa is coming to town in less than two months! What will your boyfriend buy you? Will you still be together?
Throw those boyfriend thoughts away and listen closely. The only present that matters this Christmas is… Drum roll, please… the one you get your gay best friend!
What’s that you say? You weren’t going to buy a present for your gay best friend, and you’re ready to stop reading this blog? Wait!
Before you go, we need to clear up a few things about the men in your life.
When you go to the movies with your boyfriend, you might have to argue about which movie to see. If he’s a good boyfriend, he lets you pick. Then he hates the movie and grows agitated, and you have to deal with his frustrations.
When you go to the movies with your gay best friend, there’s no discussion. You go see anything with four girls in New York City. Justin Timberlake movies will also do. After the movie, you talk about which girl had better style, which male character was the bigger jerk, and, if applicable, whether or not Timberlake is still hot.
When you hang out at home with your boyfriend, you sit and talk for awhile, maybe put in a movie, but within a couple hours he’s probably trying to do something your parents wouldn’t approve of. That’s fine! Be adults! But where’s the love?
When you hang out at home with your gay best friend, you tease him about painting his nails, which he probably won’t agree to. You gossip. He thinks there’s a spider on the wall and screams like a girl, giving you both a reason to laugh. Instead of watching any movie as an excuse to lie down together, you watch reruns of Will & Grace and The Nanny. Don’t forget to talk about which characters you’re most like, which characters you wish you were and which ones you would date. You both agree on the same guy, naturally. Time flies by without anyone’s fly coming down.
If you tell your boyfriend about problems you’re having with your gay friend, your boyfriend may just tell you to stop being friends with the gay friend. If you tell your gay friend about problems you’re having with your boyfriend, your gay friend will probably remind you of good things about the boyfriend and help you come up with solutions to your problems.
If your boyfriend spends the night, your parents may not let you sleep in the same room. If your gay friend spends the night…slumber party!
Hopefully now you understand that the gay men in your life do a lot more work than the straight men in your life.
So, for Christmas I want Born This Way: The Collection.
Your Franklin Gay BF!