The initial meeting with your new crush is the best and worst thing. The positive aspects include having new possibilities of changing your relationship status and those butterflies in your stomach. However, those butterflies often bring nerves and then you begin to overthink. “Do they like me back? I wonder what they meant when they messaged me last night.”
Now, quick comment: Personally, I don’t like the term “crush.” It brings back middle school feelings that you weren’t mature enough for and couldn’t fully comprehend. But I will admit “crush” does accurately represent how liking someone can all but physically crush you.
Ok, back to the point. I guess part of the reason crushes suck is that there’s more than one “type” of crush and scenarios that come along with it. Everyone has different experiences of crushes and have more than one reason why they’re stressful.
First, you may be shy. You may not be able to bring yourself to tell them how you feel. As someone who is very shy, I find myself in this situation whenever I start liking someone. I’m not comfortable talking to someone in general, so saying “I really like you” to someone’s face is even worse.
This can also be due to fear of rejection because, sadly, it’s a possibility. Especially when you overthink a crush, you just assume that rejection is the only outcome. People say that “the worst thing they can say is no.” And, yes, that is the worst thing someone can say and it’s because rejection is scary.
Liking someone can be stressful when you know that person likes someone else or are already in a relationship. And the fact is you can’t do anything about it. All you can do is back off and it’s the right thing to do. But it’s true that it sucks when that person they’re in a relationship is not you.
Sometimes you never get the chance to tell someone how you feel. This can happen with summer crushes. The person you like may go to a different school in another state, leaving little chance you can meet up again. Or if you meet the person you like at you summer job and you both quit at the end of August. It’s scary to think you can’t see that person without confessing your feelings. Other than on Facebook, which you are too afraid to friend them on. Overreacting? Yes of course, but we can’t help it. (Side note: is it weird to friend someone after five months of communication? Asking for a friend, definitely not me.)
Next, celebrity crushes. They can be fun and heartbreaking if you get too attached (everyone has that one they can’t get over. I’m looking at you Jimmy Fallon). Since you only know a celebrities public persona, we should never take them too seriously. If we do then you’re falling for someone who you’re making up, just with that celebrity as a foundation.
Another issue, very similar to falling a little too hard for celebrities, is falling for the idea of someone. If you don’t know someone too well, you start to make assumptions about their personality and what a relationship with them would be like. But the reality is that you don’t know them and it can be tough to deal with.
It can be nerve wracking when a crush is very close to being more than that. There are times in everyone’s life when you are not ready to be in a relationship or you’re not in a good place in your life. And that’s totally ok! Yes, it’s annoying, but you need to do what’s best for you in times like that.
I think we can all agree that having feelings for someone is stressful, frightening, difficult to understand, and overall, sucks. Just remember to not focus too much on crushes. They will come and go, the good ones and the bad ones.