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Take One: How Does Hook-Up Culture Affect Dating?

Before I began my Fordham experience everybody told me that college was the time that I would most likely find my significant other. Although scary, I was never worried about that fact that I would have to face this very adult-like concept during the course of these next four years. However, until I spent my first weekend here, it never occurred to me how difficult finding someone to date could be, let alone “Mr. Right,” because of one very common part of college culture: the Hook-up.

Let’s be real—casual sex has been occurring for decades. But does that mean that it is a lifestyle that us girls embrace? Our generation has become a little bit too comfortable with quick flings and a lot less familiar with being able to actually develop romantic feelings for one another. Hook-ups are taking away from how relationships between men and women should really be. Whatever happened to the butterflies before a first date or the anticipation of a first kiss? Now, us girls have to get excited if a guy decides to buy us a drink, or if he asks for our number. We should not have to lower our standards to a place where these meaningless acts of politeness mean something.

In my opinion, it feels better to know you are a guy’s number one than it feels to be just one of his many options. On top of that, hook-ups lack the intimacy that makes being with another person so exciting. So why do we turn to hook-ups, ladies? Not only are we in search of love, secretly hoping that those late nights will eventually turn into a relationship, but we also decide it could be a time-saver. It’s college, we’re busy building our future and devising our own plans to run the world. Maybe we think we do not have time to actually be in a relationship or date. But, think about it. Hook-ups are emotionally draining and physically exhausting and usually lead to real feelings. They do not save time; they waste it.

Hook-ups have wrongfully become the new dating scene, and us girls need to save the practice of dating before it dies out. Thankfully, there are still guys out there that are in search of that special someone, just like we are. We should not lose hope yet, but we should not wait any longer either. Although it may be intimidating to put all of our feelings out there and take the plunge, the benefits of having a relationship that fulfills our needs and brings us happiness and love truly outweighs the costs, like the chance of being shut down. It is time to be open about what we want and stop playing mind games with guys. Just like girls, guys like honesty too. Take charge of your love life; find what you want, and demand the respect that you deserve. If we do not begin to make changes, dating will become an out-of-date practice that is part of the past.

Photo Courtesy: Castle Rock Entertainment

Rachel is freshman at Fordham University pursuing a major in Marketing and a minor in Communications and Media Studies. With a goal of one day being somehow involved in the fashion industry, preferably a fashion magazine, she practices journalism and regularly blogs. Her hobbies include writing for Her Campus, running, shopping and being a marketing co-chair of the Smart Girls Group chapter at Fordham.
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