“My Roommate” has found herself in quite the dilemma: she’s caught between two guys! Talking to one boy from home, and hooking up with a different guy at school is no game of hopscotch; no, instead my roommate has found herself in a state of mass confusion in need of some killer advice. So what’s a girl to do? Does she continue juggling two guys or make the insanely tough decision between the two of them? If your “roommate” is facing a similar dilemma, here’s my two cents:
In a perfect world both of the guys that my roommate is hooking up with know that she is single and are absolutely okay with her hooking up with someone else. But in order to be realistic about this situation we are going to assume that neither of the two guys knows about the other, and that if one, or both, were to find out they would not be too pleased. So that being said we will also assume that my roommate is carefully keeping quiet about both hookups, (except to her bestie roommates of course!) so she doesn’t blow the lid off the whole thing. This may involve lying, or the nonetheless innocent act of holding back information. Now this puts my roommate in a hard spot; if you have to lie or sneak around this should be a giant red flag that what you’re doing probably isn’t okay. The most important thing to do in this situation is to be honest with yourself.
Can my roommate handle the hiding and sneaking around? Some girls find a thrill in this and other “games,” but some truly do not. The first step in being honest with yourself here is assessing which type of girl you are. If you can picture yourself continuously keeping up a charade with both guys and find it entertaining, you’re probably in it for the thrill. In this case I would tell you and “my roommate” to be careful, but to go for it. If you are not in an exclusive relationship with either guy, then you are not cheating. Have your fun, but keep in mind that someone, including you, may get hurt somewhere down the line. If this is the risk you are willing to take, then by all means have your cake and eat it too.
Now, say my roommate is a terrible liar and feels guilty even telling the tiniest of white lies. If she is being honest with herself then she will admit that she is incapable of lying to both guys, or holding back the truth about the other boy, especially at risk of hurting either of them. She will now know that she must choose between the two guys. Here’s the next step in being honest with yourself: which relationship would you rather have? The one you can enjoy going home to over breaks and summer vaca? Or the one that you can take advantage of every weekend (maybe even some week nights) at school? This question involves some deeper self-assessment.
If you are strong, independent, and loyal you may find yourself wanting the former. If however, you feel lonely sometimes, do not enjoy being single, and like having someone to cuddle with there’s nothing wrong with wanting the latter. I realize that my roommate wouldn’t be hooking up with two guys if she could easily choose between the two situations, but ultimately, one situation must prevail. If you’re not willing to risk hurting anyone’s feelings, even your own, and wish to end the confusion and frustration, a decision must be made. Therefore, my roommate must weigh the pros and cons of each situation. Before making a final decision I ask my roommate to take another step in being honest with herself: which guy makes you feel happier?
My roommate likes each guy for different reasons; one is funny and easy to talk to, the other has a great body and is fun to hook up with. Now you may have many other reasons for liking two different guys, but for now let’s continue to use my roommate’s dilemma as an example. The best way to make the decision of who to continue a relationship with is to really figure out which guy makes her feel the happiest. This is what is most important, if you are happy then you are satisfied. Chances are you won’t regret your decision. If you make the wrong decision, you may end up extremely unhappy, and unhappiness in a relationship can end in cheating, fighting, and losing a friendship. So above all, do what makes you happy.
This will not be an easy decision for my roommate; choosing between two guys is almost as hard as choosing a prom dress (kidding!). My roommate, and any other girl in this situation, should be completely honest with herself. What kind of person does she see herself as? Is she a free-spirited girl meant for the single lifestyle and juggling more than one guy at once? Or is she the relationship type who can’t see herself honestly dating two guys at the same time. What will make her the happiest? My roommate has a lot to think about, but if she follows this advice, staying true to herself and finding what makes her happy, she will be just fine.