Single, by definition, means to be an individual rather than belonging to a partnership or group. Individual means it is already a whole and complete. No one came into this world being half a person. Many people, due to what society tells us, are out there waiting for their second half to come around and complete them. The reality is that everyone in this world has their path in life and the particular destination is not to end up with your soulmate and live happily ever after. Now, don’t get me wrong, this is not to crush your Nicholas Sparks dreams and tell you that fairytales do not exist. It is just a matter of how to feel complete and happy, even when that fairytale has not happened for you yet. It all starts with your mind and your perception of life. To be happy, you must replace the question of “why am I not wifed?” to “what is this trying to teach me?” because your life is taking its course. Beating yourself up and asking questions that will disempower you is only going to bring you down, not allow you to grow as an INDIVIDUAL.
Your relationship status does not define you and there is so much more to life than just romantic affairs. Love will come to everyone in its due time and it is not meant to be something forced. With that said, the number one step is to let go of the desperation to be in a relationship. Yes, there will be couples on Instagram, everything will look beautiful, and you are going to wish it was you living your best life with that special person. But realistically, no relationship is perfect because no one in this world is perfect. People put on social media only what they want others to see. For example, we usually give the camera our “good side” or our “best angle” and pose in a certain way. Couples on social media will show you their happy moments and while it is a beautiful thing to admire, it is also crucial to keep in mind that may not always be how their relationship is all the time. So, do not compare yourself to others. Everyone has their path and journey. Some people graduate before others, some find jobs before others, some go to college and some don’t, some move out sooner than others, and some find love sooner or after others. It is completely okay to be where you are in life right now and that is something that you must come to terms with to be content.
Since romance is NOT the only aspect of life, if you do not have a partner, you have time and energy for all other aspects. Understand that being single only gives more time for yourself. Now, I am not talking about the “self-care” many people do for aesthetic reasons, where they post a selfie of themselves with a face mask in the middle of their bubble bath. The bubble baths and face masks are one hundred percent wonderful and much needed at times, but what is important is finding yourself and genuinely advancing in your life. Discover who you are as a person, what you like and what you dislike, to be able to cater to yourself properly before you cater to someone else. It is all about finding peace, love, and acceptance within yourself. To do that, set intentions and goals. Every single day, do something, even if it is small, that will bring you closer to those long term goals. Little by little, you will get closer to your goal and believe more and more in yourself and become happier with yourself. Ask yourself: “What do I want to accomplish and what other aspects of my life do I need to work on?” Invest in yourself and do things that make you feel good, such as exercising, reading self-development books, build quality relationships with people, focus on grades/career, journal, dance, meditate, etc.
Always keep in mind that love is patient, kind, protective, and forgiving. Therefore, you must have all those attitudes towards yourself. It is okay to not always be on your A-game. Life gets in the way at times, but as long as you are showing up as the best version of yourself and treating yourself with utter love, you will be single and happy. Remember it all starts with YOU. Imagine how amazing it would be if you loved yourself as unconditionally as you loved others. You’d be unstoppable, powerful, single, and happy.