Being Friends with an Ex

As we all know, being friends with an ex is not necessarily the easiest thing to do. The longer you are together, the more memories are made, moments are shared, and the trials and tribulations of life test your love. Though, just because you aren't with that certain person anymore you shouldn't sever your ties with someone you once had so much love for. I don’t know about you, but speaking from personal experience and those of the ones closest to me … past the intimacy is a friendship that is created based on allowing one self to be vulnerable, letting that one person get to know you as well or even better than you know yourself and revealing to them the darkest parts of your story. Like I mentioned previously-- this is not necessarily the easiest thing to do, but here are some pointers. In all honesty, these tips might not be for you, but they are serving a dual purpose: helping me reflect on my personal experience. 


Being there. Friendships are mostly about being supportive and being there for one another, in this case it is crucial since you are no longer intimate and it assures your ex that you still value them as a person. It can be as easy as a simple text asking “How’ve you been?” or “Hey. I know you have an x, y, z event coming up?” Essentially letting your ex know that you are still someone they can rely on. 


R-E-S-P-E-C-T. There is going to be a point where you or your significant other are bound to move on but this doesn’t mean just because you are with somebody new you can disclose one’s secret to the new partner. Anything that was revealed or talked about stays amongst each other. If you or your ex happen to find love once again in someone new, know how to set boundaries. If certain lines are crossed you or your ex run the risk of upsetting the newfound love, which would cause them to want you to end your friendship with your ex altogether.  


Looking past the intimacy. Most people don’t know how to separate intimacy from friendship once the relationship has ended. It is important to remember to let go of the way the person held you, touched you, kissed you, and how they were with you to be able to create new memories as friends. Self control is something one needs to have in particular because you might have the urge to be intimate with your ex, either it being sexually or just wanting physical companionship, you can’t fall into temptation. 


Though they might've lost the part of you in them, it is always important to never lose the part of them in you. As you might've said to each other that no matter what happens, you’ll be there for one another. 


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