One of my Fall 2018 goals,was to listen to more podcasts. I do not know why but whenever I hear people talking about podcasts, I immediately think they are intelligent. I wanted people to think I am one of those intelligent people, so I picked up the hobby of listening to podcasts. One podcasts I ran into was, Small Doses with Amanda Seales. If you do not know who Amanda Seales is, she plays the bougie friend, Tiffany, on the HBO hit Insecure. I listened to Amanda Seales podcast about the Side Effects of Loneliness. This immediately caught my eye because I thought being alone and being lonely were exactly the same thing. In my mind, they were just interchangeable words. Oh, was I wrong. They are not the same thing and they actually constitute different emotions.
According to Merriam Webster, alone is defined as, separated from others. Essentially, being in your own space. Which frankly, scares a lot of people. I think that is largely due to the fact that we live in a society where it is deemed to be a bad thing if you are alone. For example, a group of my friends and I were sitting in the library getting homework done, when one of our friend made a statement saying she wants to go to dinner alone. It was crazy to see how many of my friends, including myself were like, “why go alone?” Nevertheless, there is nothing wrong with doing things by yourself. While others find it very vulnerable to be alone, others find complete freedom with being alone.
While alone is being separated from others, being lonely is being without company. One great example, I found online and in the podcast was, you can go to a football or baseball game, and still be alone. Even though, there are tons of people at these games, deep down in your body, you feel like you are by yourself. Loneliness is not having a connection with something or someone. One thing that I loved about Amanda Seales podcast on this specific topic is that, loneliness can be a moment, a feeling, or a phase. It does not mean that you are going to be lonely forever. One thing that both alone and loneliness have in similar, is again, how society portrays these two things as a negative aspects. Sometimes it is okay to alone and lonely because sometimes you need those two things in order to grow and, realize what you want or do not want. What happens is that, when you are lonely, you start making up excuses and reasons to do something that you would not do. One example Amanda Seales brings up is, if you are feeling lonely, some people will go and hit up their exes. Knowing very well, that is going to end up poorly.
One thing that Amanda Seales said in the podcast, which is something I want to remind you all is that, when it comes to alone and loneliness, it is a matter of perspective. It is important to keep those two definitions in the back of your mind and remember what keeps them distinct. However, remember what is driving you to a decision or what is causing you to feel a certain type of way. Once you figure out what the problem is, you can find the solution. Sometime the solutions are to have a new hobby or simply watch tv. Just find the root of the problem from distinguishing the two; alone vs. loneliness.
References:
“Alone.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alone
“Lonely.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lonely.
“Side Effects of Loneliness.” Performance by Amanda Seales, season 1, episode 34, 26 Sept. 2018.