“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” Deborah Reber
In life, we experience more than once an awful fight. This experience can happen with a close friend, family member, co-worker, or really anybody. When it comes to hurtful things, they flow naturally, especially if emotions are overheated. The toughest part is that when you’ve said it, and probably didn’t really mean, there is no taking it back. In a fight, you can hurt someone else or get hurt yourself or both, and that is when saying sorry is not easy. For some reason, we mistakenly see forgiveness as a weakness. However, apologizing is for the real brave ones along with the fact that it makes you the bigger person. You grow your inner strength and your maturity is reflected. When you forgive, you heal, and when you heal, you grow.
Sometimes we are not aware of how unhealthy it is for ourselves to hold grudges. I will share with you a list of symptoms to identify if you have some unfinished business to heal within your inner-self:
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You frequently think or believe that revenge is always the answer.
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You feel happy when others suffer, especially if it’s someone you’ve had bad blood with before, or someone you do not like at all.
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When you are remembering when others did you wrong, if it still hurts. You gotta heal and let go mama!
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You devaluate your wrongdoer.
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Physiological symptoms when you see your wrongdoer like for example, racing pulse, rapid breathing, headaches, or dizziness.
Do not feel bad if you hapen to have 3 out of these 5 symptoms, I am here to help you. And don’t get me wrong having these feelings doesn’t make you a bad person, we are all humans, and we all mistakenly let our emotions control us. The best thing is when we accept and recognize our mistakes and make a change. If you are interested in learning more about that change, I will give you my top secrets on learning how to let go & forgive.
- Make a list of hurtful things
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If you love writing, like me, make a list of all the things that have hurt you in your life, no matter how little, silly, or footling you feel they are. Just list them. Once you have the list, burn it on your own, or take some alone time by the beach, place that list in a bottle and let the sea take that. The beach is a great place to reflect, let go, and heal. As long as you make an action of acceptance and let all those hurtful things out of your chest, your heart will start to heal.
- Remain Humble
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Remember that forgiving is not forgetting. Rather it’s accepting and acknowledging that what happened in the past no longer hurts, and for me that is the real meaning of letting go. With this being said, remain humble. Learning to forgive involves being humble. In forgiveness, one does not seek “moral superiority”, one does not seek to humiliate the aggressor or dominate them morally. With this, reproaches should be avoided, since they imply the impossibility of forgiving.
- Lower your expectations
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When we are kind, many times we expect others to be kind with us, and this is when we get hurt. This is why as we pointed out in the attitudes to forgive, a good piece of advice is to not expect anything in exchange for your forgiveness. A sincere forgiveness does not wait for a special policy or a specific condition.
- Be positive
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Finally, remember to see the BRIGHT side! Know that letting go is for your own good, and it makes you be a good example. Allow yourself to make mistakes and conceive the idea that your mistakes will allow you to learn from them and thus you can improve yourself as a person.
Now, go ahead and get your heart clean, because if you feel good inside you will radiate all that goodness on the outside. And this world needs and craves healed, kind hearts.