Life is filled with surprises, some good and some bad. If your partner has to unexpectedly move to far away for work, school or familial reasons, it can ruin a lot of the plans you had for the future. However, it doesn’t have to if you don’t let it. Here are three things you should do before you and your partner begin a long-distance relationship.
- Set Boundaries
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What aren’t you ready for? As romantic as it is to “try and make things work,” you need to sit with yourself and decide if this is something that’s right for you. Can you handle it? As much as you love someone, your mental and physical health come first. If you can’t do a long-distance relationship, then you need to take that into consideration before moving further. If your answer is yes or that you’re still willing to try, you need to begin asking other questions.
What are you comfortable with when it comes to your sex life? Are you interested in having an open relationship? You need to set your boundaries and decide how your needs of intimacy will be met. Are you comfortable with sexting or using toys? If not, what are you comfortable with? Abstaining from anything sexual is a valid option, too!
These are things you and your partner need to discuss before long-distance starts. Communication is your most valuable asset. If you’re uncomfortable talking about something with your partner, then you should let them know. Ask yourself if your boundaries might be detrimental to your relationship.
Trust and communication are huge components when it comes to this. It’s going to help you build the incredibly strong foundation you need when you start a long-distance relationship. If you don’t have that now while you’re together, it’s won’t happen overnight and it might be harder to build while you’re apart.
Figuring out your boundaries should be something you do on your own, without your partner’s influence. Once that’s done, then come together to discuss them. Write a list to give each other so you don’t forget to mention anything.
- Have a Plan
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Determine when and if you can get back together long-term. It may take a few months or a few years. For example, if your partner is moving to California, but the only thing stopping you from going is school, then make a plan to move after you graduate. If your partner is able to come back down after a few months or years, create a plan accordingly.
Not having a plan can leave you both feeling like your stuck in limbo. If you can’t plan to move closer to each other, then plan out when you will see each other or go on vacation. This gives you both something to look forward to. The waiting won’t feel endless.
- Set time for Date Nights
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Just because you live miles apart doesn’t mean you should stop spending time with each other or stop having date nights. Set a specific day of the week as an “Us Day.” This is a day especially for you two. You can both order sushi from Uber Eats and have a romantic dinner night. If you’re over 21, get bottles of wine and spend the night talking or watching movies on Netflix using Netflix Party.
If you’re comfortable with it, use that day to set aside time to take care of other intimate needs. Distance shouldn’t stop you both from having a sex life. There are so many ways you can take care of that. Through phone sex, toys and sexting you can have all sorts of sexy fun, despite the distance.
When you’re far apart, it’s easy to forget that you need maintaint the relationship in the same way you did while you were together. However, when you halt your romantic and sexual life altogether after starting long-distance, you set yourself up for a catastrophe.
Long-distance is hard. It isn’t romantic, it sucks. It hurts like hell to be apart from the love of your life, especially when things feel out of your control. However, there are relationships that are worth it. By practicing healthy habits, like communicating, you can get through it. When you set out your plan, you’ll continue to remind yourself that the distance is temporary and soon, you’ll be with the person you love.