You’ve finally got it all. Your best friends are living in the same room as you for nine months of the year and your relationship with your significant other is going better than ever. But then out of nowhere, your best friend hits you with the infamous “we need to talk” line. She ends up telling you that you’ve been so distant ever since you’ve been in a relationship. Confused as ever, you reply that you had no idea and you promise to work on it.
So how exactly do you find a balance when you truly do want to spend all your time with both parties?! It will take some conscious effort to pull this off, but if you care enough, it can definitely be managed. Note: These tips are based on the assumption that all other parties involved are willing to cooperate as well. If your friends or lover cannot accept the fact that you are not going to be with each of them every minute of every day, you may need to make some serious changes.
1. Be Open and Honest
If you promised your roommates you’d have a girls’ night and then you decide you really need some alone time with your significant other, do not lie and tell them you are going to the library, when you are really hanging out with your sweetie. I promise that they will find out and even if they don’t, it’s just not the right way to approach the situation. If they are good friends, they will understand. But at the same time, you can’t pull this on them 3 weeks in a row. If you are open and honest with them, they will give you the passes you need sometimes.
2. Learn How to Manage Your Time
Though it may seem excessive to literally make a schedule of when you are going to see either your friends or your significant other, it may make things easier. By dedicating specific days to hang out with both of them, you are creating some sense of order and it shows that you really do care about pleasing everyone. Eventually, you will establish a routine and your friends and partner will catch on to it as well, so that your hangouts are always definite and something to look forward to!
3. Don’t be Afraid to Combine Friend Time with Significant Other Time
Everyone wants their friends to approve of their significant other, right? So why not organize a hangout for all of you? This way, you can spend time with both of them and maybe even potentially create some double date situations! You obviously cannot always combine these hangouts, but every once in a while, it could be fun and good for all of your relationships.
4. Do Not Let Other People’s Emotions Control Your Behavior
There are going to be times when your friends or your significant other get jealous or mad or sad or just emotional in general because of your behavior. You need to know the difference between when they are feeling this way for a good reason and when they are, unfortunately, being unreasonable. You cannot let your friends or significant other’s emotions always control the decisions you make. Be a good friend and a good companion, be willing to talk things out and consider other people’s emotions. If you approach conflicts in the right manner, your friends and significant other will learn to also.
You love your friends and your significant other more than anything and want them both to be happy. If you put in the effort and they put in the effort as well, everyone will live happily ever after.