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Hookup Culture: How to Talk About and Bring Up Your Feelings Without Being Too Serious

Collegiettes across campuses are taking part in the hookup culture; it’s exciting, liberating, and casual. It’s all about having fun and enjoying yourself in a comfortable and casual way with little to no commitment. The hookup lifestyle can be empowering and pleasurable, but what’s a girl to do when you start catching feels? Or maybe you’re just not into the hookup anymore? It can be hard to bring up how you’re feeling when you’re taking part in a relationship that’s, well, not really a relationship. Here’s our advice on how to handle the complicated hookup situation.

1. Figure out what you want

Are you looking to stop hooking up or are you looking to start dating your current hookup? Figure out what you want and what would be best for you before bringing it up to them. Think about yourself for a minute!

2. Talk to a friend first

Grab your bestie and break it down to her. Talk it out and go over what you want to say when the actual conversation goes down. A trusted friend should be able to steer you in the right direction, plus they’re a great support system. It’s always good to know you have your best friend behind you at all times.

3. Make sure the moment is right

Your feelings are important and you want to make sure you do this right! Make sure you’re alone, so there’s no distractions or other people ruining the moment. Also, make sure both of you are sober. There’s no point to having a conversation that neither of you are going to remember.

4. Be confident

Take a deep breath, remain calm, and say what you feel! Don’t let any guy or girl intimidate you; what you feel matters and it’s important you lay it all out in a warm and casual manner. You can do this!

5. Be ready for any reaction

Rejection is hard, but it’s a part of life. While you may want one thing, your hookup might want another. Don’t expect them to feel the same way, because you never know what’s going to happen. Simply expect them to listen to you and respect what you have to say.

Whatever the outcome, just know that everything truly happens for a reason and if he or she isn’t the one, it’s better to know now than get invested and be negatively surprised. Everyone will find someone and we have all the time in the world. Good luck, Stags! HCXO


Alexis DiZenzo is a motivated Connecticut native. She attends Fairfield University where she is majoring in digital journalism and minoring in marketing. She is currently co-campus corespondent of Fairfield's Her Campus chapter. Along with managing Her Campus Fairfield, Alexis has interned with The Secured Lender Magazine, and NBC Sports. She is a contributing writer for Elite Daily as well as Thought Catalog. In the early stages of her college career, Alexis has taken the initiative to reach far among the stars and achieve goals early on. She has a great sense of editing, writing, publishing, marketing and leadership as well as strong interpersonal skills. (And a fun-loving, outgoing personality!) Alexis' favorite book (and movie) is The Great Gatsby, she lives by the words of Carrie Bradshaw and you could definitely find her on a beach, soaking up the sun. Instagram @alexisdizenzo www.alexisfdizenzo.com
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