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20 Stages of Taking an Uber

Uber is taking the car service industry to a new level. You’ve undoubtedly heard of the latest fad that is making the taxi industry obsolete (not that we miss RedDot that much.)  I’ll admit it, I’ve used Uber to take the 4-minute trip to the townhouses in the cold, but who can blame me? There’s no shot I’m walking through the snow banks in my heels. Here are the emotional stages of any collegiette’s experience with Uber after a night out.

1. Your attempts to hail a taxi don’t go as planned.

2. After all this hype, you finally download the Uber app. Might as well hop on the bandwagon and see what everyone’s been talking about.

3. The party you were attending got broken up, busted, or you’re just ready to get back to your room.

4. Your friends are frantic to get together and get home.

5. “Should you get the Uber? Is he gonna order it? Should I get the Uber?” Deciding who’s going to order it is a task in and of itself. 

6. Pinpointing your location somehow seems harder than the accounting test you had that morning.

7. Due to peak hours, you’ll be charged 2.8 times the usual fair. Surge pricing? Whatever. Not much of a choice.

8. Split cost? That’s just unrealistic to try and figure out at this point. Your friends will pay you back later, and you’re feeling generous anyways!

9. Your cab driver is 7 minutes away …and now you wait.

10. Contact Driver- “are you still 7 minutes away?” The answer, of course, hasn’t changed.

11. But it’s 10 degrees outside and you were somehow talked into wearing a short dress (seemed like a good idea at the time). 

12. … and suddenly you spot a Prius sitting right across the street. Simple math would say it’s time to make a move. So you walk up to the Prius to find out whom he’s waiting for. Calm, cool and collected.

13. The driver asks to confirm the ride. John? Yeah… I’m John. That’s me…

14. You’re finally in the car when you realize one of your friends has gone AWOL. Perfect timing! Of course, you’re going to have to shuffle out of the car, back into the cold, just to find your friend and start the process all over again.

15. You see John, the rightful owner of this specific Uber ride,  drive off in the car you were so close to stealing. The competition was real while it lasted.

16. Call from a random number? Could it be??? Your Uber is here!!!!

17. You sink into the back seat knowing you’re just minutes away from going to the after party on campus… okay, realistically sitting in bed ordering Dominoes… but who’s judging?

18. Your Uber driver insists on telling you about why he became an Uber driver, what his favorite Chipotle toppings are, and why his mother-in-law is the absolute worst.

19. Trust me, don’t ask him to turn on the radio. It’s a guaranteed weird experience.

20. Question why it took you so long to download Uber. To Fairfield U, please!

Until next weekend, Uber.

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