Editor’s Note: This piece is meant to be funny and satirical, so please enjoy with humor.
I know what you’re thinking: why on earth would I want to get rid of a guy? The holidays are coming our way, and I know this screams romance, from clichés including the mistletoe to countless articles in women’s mags along the lines of “How to Make Him Yours This Christmas.” But as many of you pretty ladies know, losing a guy is at times necessary, as you’ve found yourself endlessly pursued one night by that guy who thinks “no” actually initiates an intense and creepy game trying to spark your fancy.
I like to call this guy the “Go Getter.” For all of you thinking modern chivalry is dead, here’s where you’re wrong. Hey—I’ve seen a bar fight break out just to get a girl’s attention. The “Go Getter,” or GG for short, is the guy at the bar or frat who lurks behind you all night, who has tried to initiate conversation to which you’ve said, “I have a boyfriend,” which disgustingly enough makes him try even harder. In hopesof one last go, he’ll be at the door right before you exit with an extra drink he just “happened” to have in his hand.
“The night’s not over yet!” He’ll exclaim.
But that’s where he’s wrong. The night is so over. And he can be halted before his game has begun, but perhaps this will take some creativity. I spoke to over twenty girls on F&M’s campus on the subject, some claiming to have effectively combatted a GG. How do you lose this guy, while keeping your dignity intact?
“Normally, I just keep moving away from him and get one of my guy friend’s help—I stand by him and eventually, the creeper gets the hint!”
–Genevieve ‘14
“I’d just sock him in the face.”
-Katherine ‘15
“I am direct in my approach. I look him in the eye, and simply say, “stop” in all
seriousness. This usually works.”
-Logan ‘16
“I tell him I’m waiting for marriage.”
-Emma, ‘14
At the end of the day, some guys just don’t get the hint. All of the girls I’ve talked to had some idea as to how to get rid of the GG, but when these methods don’t work, I have to suggest one that may trump all: honesty. I’m no Mother Theresa, but I have to say there’s nothing better than telling it like it is, with a little sugarcoating of course. Best of luck ladies!