So it’s half way through Winter Term and there’s nothing better than having a boyfriend to cuddle up with on those cold, wintery nights, right? Wrong! Unfortunately for some, your happy-ever-after relationship seems to have reached a dead end. Whether it’s because Prince Charming turned out to be a frog in disguise or you’ve simply lost that magic spark, nothing can get you down like a relationship that you know just isn’t going anywhere. The temptation to stay in the relationship might seem overwhelming, after all, who wants to be alone over Christmas! But the reality is it’s unfair on both of you if you know the relationship’s not working; if your partner knew you were no longer in the same place, they wouldn’t want to be with you either.
But taking that first step to ending your relationship can be difficult and the social etiquette gets even more complicated when you’re broken up! Is it ok to break up with someone over the phone? Can you still be friends after you’ve broken up? How quickly is it ok for you to move on to someone else? HCX offers some useful rules on breaking up to help give that fresh start that should perk up your love life and get rid of those Mid-Term Blues.
- The Personal Touch. We know it’s hard, arranging to meet up with someone and looking them in the eyes when you tell them it’s over. Ouch. But in the long run, if you want to stay friends with this person, the personal touch will help. Just think, if it were you, would a Facebook message or a text really be enough.
- Be careful with the clichés. Telling someone exactly why you no longer want to be with them can be difficult, so relying on some of the old clichés, “It’s not you, it’s me” can seem like the perfect way to go. But remember, they’re clichés for a reason! Your ex-to-be would much rather hear the truth. But don’t go overboard, they don’t need to hear about how much you hate their terrible morning breath.
- Trying to be friends. It’s always nice to think that you can remain friends with your ex after you’ve broken up. If that’s something you want, don’t try to push it straight away. You’re both going to need space from each other so you can get past being in a relationship and remember what it was like just to be each other’s friend. Unfortunately, your ex might not want to remain friends and if that’s the case, then there isn’t much you can do; stay civil if you see them out and hopefully they might change their mind somewhere down the line.
- Mutual Friends. Through the course of your relationship, you’ll probably have made strong bonds with some of your ex’s friends and the worry of losing them as a consequence of a break up is horrible. Don’t worry though, although they might have known your ex first, they’ll probably want to keep up your newfound friendship. Make sure you’re not possessive over their friendship however as they’ll hate feeling caught in the middle.
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Moving on. When you’re newly single, the temptation to just have some fun and meet plenty of new guys can be strong. But the chances are, if you take that step too quickly, you’ll end up hurting your ex and probably yourself. There’s no set time limit of when it’s ok to move on, you’ll probably know when it feels right, but bear in mind for those first few weeks you should probably hold back.
Trying to work through the problems in your relationship is of course always an option. But deep down, I think all of us know when a relationship has passed its sell-by-date. These rules should help you have a smoother and hopefully more amicable break up and maybe come Christmas, you’ll have someone new to kiss under the mistletoe!
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