There is never a good time to break up with someone or be on the receiving end of a separation, but there is a period of about two months where it’s even worse…there’s no official title for this period but think pre-Christmas to February 14th. With major obstacles; during the Christmas week, then New Years, then the January blues before the dreaded Valentine’s Day there is never a “right moment”.
Valentine’s Day is looked upon by some as a dreamy day, full of sweetness, love, flowers and chocolates. However for many of us it’s a day with added pressure either as a single gal giving off the anti-valentine’s day vibe and hitting the town or in a relationship not knowing what to get for your boyfriend and hoping that it’s not simply a standard date night he has in store.
However, the most frustrating position to be in is confused. Confused about how you truly feel about your other half; with Valentine’s Day approaching and after possibly a bit of a troubled Christmas and New Year’s, it’s playing on your mind that perhaps it’s time to end the relationship before it drags on until another important date.
This article is advocating to all of you who are in this position to just go for it. Chuck ‘em, dump ‘em and get rid of – brave those phrases and face up to your feelings.
Break up rules for Valentine’s Day do have to be slightly different. Here are a few pointers that might just help:
1. Don’t be afraid to take the break up plunge – it’s a horrible thing to have to do, but in the long run you’ll realise if you felt unsure and unhappy in a relationship the emotional damage will be greater to both of you if you don’t say something.
2. Do break-up before Valentine’s Day – frankly it’s an easy excuse to delay the conversation. It’s cruel to pretend to be happy and all loved-up if you’re just waiting an extra 24 hours to drop the bomb. At least if it’s before the 14th, there’s bound to be a party or big night out where you can both have some fun and forget about it.
3. Do it face-to-face – this rule can apply to any time you’re breaking up with someone; for anyone that has been informed of their new singledom over text or email it’s hurtful and frankly quite dangerous for the informer-revenge is far more likely if you’ve angered your ex.
4. Don’t feel sorry for yourself at 11.50pm on Valentine’s Day – getting in contact just before Valentine’s Day is over is going to end up in trouble. Either you will get ignored or angrily shouted at which will put down a real dampener. Or you will for the next couple of hours have what is to you a final night of pleasure just for your ex-other half to wake up in the morning and say “I knew it was just a phase…” and you’re back at the beginning.
5. Don’t try and lighten the mood – the particular risk with this move around Valentine’s Day is that, in a blind panic, you turn to saying your plans for the night itself; how you’re hitting the town with girlfriends and not even thinking about being single. This will probably end in your new ex turning away from you as they have to wipe away a tear. Insensitive small talk is a classic sign of fear and panic and believe me, will do anything but make it easier.
6. Do the deed in an unromantic location – from about the 2nd January we are swamped by trinkets, cards and gift suggestions to buy in preparation for the “most romantic day of the year”. To break up with someone in the preceding days to V-Day you need to sweep this romance to one side and chose a spot where neither of you will be reminded of any personal memories or suggest of any future. A quiet and yet public place is best just to keep any outpouring of emotion within limit.
This bizarre collection of advice has been put together in an effort to encourage those of you to commit the deed of breaking up. Valentine’s Day should not just be a time to have a romantic date with you other half or to distract yourself with friends, it should be a time for break-ups. Brave it and treat the 15th February as the official New Year for love and relationships.
Photo credits: yahoo.com; e-how.com; peepgame.net