The chances of your first ever boyfriend being “the one” are slim; not impossible but quite improbable particularly if, like the majority of girls, you start dating during secondary school. Ah school. A time of breathtakingly romantic and bright seduction, with whimsical lines such as, “Will you pull my mate?” and “MSN later? I’ve got a webcam!” Promises, promises falling on the ears of adolescents, ringing with anticipation and raging with hormones.
For many this is the first rung on the ladder of intimate encounters, both physically and emotionally, and through the months and years that follow we cry, shout, scream and hopefully shiver with pleasure as we learn the complex highs and lows of a relationship. We learn the things they like, (kissing without too much tongue, occasional sexting, Pokémon role play, whatever) and the things they don’t (unnecessarily soppy nicknames, ear licking, canine-esque humping) and slowly but surely we patch together a fragmented picture of a successful sexual relationship. But what do we do when we find the one? Is it dishonest to use the, shall we say, experience you have gained to wow your perfect gentleman? We’re not suggesting for one minute that when D-day comes you initiate proceedings with the words “My ex-boyfriend loved this…” but it doesn’t seem fair to erase an entire sexual education every time you meet someone new.
Therefore there is no harm in a bit of cheeky recycling.
Knowing someone has enjoyed an experience or moment you shared with them is going to give you a lot more confidence when you go for it a second time (or third…or fourth…) and the chances are it’s going to have a positive reception. And this isn’t just about sex. You bought your ex-boyfriend a crate of beer tied with a bow on Valentine’s Day? Excellent, keep hold of the ribbons, because the chances are that bouquet of roses you’re getting are from the florist he has on speed dial from previous conquests. Not cynical, simply practical and if he really is the one, you have a life time of buying gifts and bedroom antics to up the originality. The reuse, recycle ethos is not without its limits. Of course every relationship is different and occasionally that thing you did with the ice cubes might not go down so well, but trial and error is the only way to achieve romantic nirvana.
You wouldn’t write an essay without doing your research and you wouldn’t enter the race of your life without some training first. We would all like to wait for our soul mate but with so many fish in the sea sometimes you need to let your rod dangle a while before you reel in a prize catch. There’s no shame in utilising the experience you have under your belt to add some spice to your relationship. So don’t be trashy, recycle! Winky face…
Picture credits: weheartit.com