Peter Pan
The boy who never grew up. The one who lives in Neverland- that place where fairies roam and pirates stand on guard ready to lose fights, against those of questionable pre-pubescent strength. The place where lost boys congregate and shut out any trace of adulthood from their lives.
Its JM Barry’s most delicious piece of fiction- and that’s surely what it is, isn’t it? A ficticious slice of an ever-youthful eternity for boys to dream of at night.
Though for some this is more than a fantasy- it’s a state of mind. It’s a way of being, a mindset that transcends past the boundaries into adulthood. For some, its not just a fantasy to return to when we’re tucked up in bed, nor is Peter Pan an amusing alter-ego for men to return to in times of nostalgia.
No- for some Peter Pan is far from a fantasy- he’s lived.
Without wanting to make any sweeping statements, I’d like to point out a trend that seems to be emerging, perpetrated by the Jamie Laing’s of the world- so committed to his own use of the metaphor he even has a tattoo of the little guy, or the Seth Rogan characters of Hollywood- utterly unprepared for the challenges that adulthood inevitably brings- it seems as though its more than okay for men to embrace their inner peter pan well into adult life. In fact, its encouraged, its fashionable. The over-grown man-child, much like the manic pixie dream girl (look it up) is the film and television industry’s new desirable male personality type.
Its still a fantasy right?
Here’s where the problem lies. We humans are sponge-like when it comes to exposure to things like this. We see, we want, and lo and behold, we are. Or at least, we strive to be. Just like that McDonalds advert that makes us jump in the car, pyjama clad and salivating, the images we are bombarded with of men and women impact our own visions of ourselves. We want to be the people we see on tv- we want what they have, and we want to do what they do, because it gives us a feeling of community that we crave so inertly.
So when the Peter Pan archetype flits his way onto our screens, in our books or on our computers, we can’t help but soak it up. Some boys unconsciously act out this bit in every day life, leaving us girls at a bit of a quandary when we find ourselves attracted to these ‘never grow up’ types. Because, unfortunately, an unquenchable thirst for adventure is usually accompanied with a hint of Attention defecit, a lack of responsibility and a general need to be looked after.
That’s where us girls come in. Drawn in by the promises of ‘Neverland’- which in our world might translate to climbing trees and screaming into the night at 3am, or checking out for the week, abandoning lectures in favour of a roadtrip to ‘wherever’ at the very last minute- we follow where Peter goes.
This is fun for a few weeks, more than fun in fact, its mindblowing. But all too often the Peter Pan’s of the world leave us with a bit of motion sickness. The initial feeling of adventure translates to guilt, having skipped uni for weeks on end and failed to contact any of our friends.
When you decide its time to put your life back together, you enter a new phase with Peter Pan boy. Much like Wendy, you know you can’t remain young forever, and so you’re left in that big old house, accepting responsibilities like you know you really should. Suddenly you’re not enticed anymore, you’re worried, and as he neglects to think about consequences, you become the sole thinker for the both of you. You get older and wiser, and Peter stays in Neverland.
The trouble with Peter, even if you, as Wendy, were quite happy to accept your nurturing role, is that he is not often able to acknowledge it. Peter’s usually come with a little network of volunteers, that so enjoy his company they are happy to accept a life picking up after him and tying up the ends he leaves loose. So much are these engrained in his life, that Peter is fooled into thinking his world simply falls into perfect place around him- he’s lucky that way.
But for some of us, Peter’s trail of destruction is too hard to contemplate when faced with the prospect of such little recognition. That’s when we decide its time to leave him in his ignorant bliss, with the other lost boys in Neverland.
So girls, read the signs. Try to tell your simple thrill-seekers with heads screwed on, from your careless boys in green. Feel free to take peter for what he is, enjoy him while you can, but Neverland is exhausting when you’ve got one eye on the real world, so be sure to abandon ship when the sea gets a little rough.