This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Exeter chapter.
Are you in a relationship at uni? All relationships involve YOU so it is important to spend time and focus on you!
It’s easy to divide your girlfriends into two groups on a night out – single, or very very not single! But if you fall into the latter, it’s important to remember that you are not defined by your relationship status, and thinking otherwise can do some serious damage! Here are some tips on how not to get sucked into the dark depths of relationship solitude. Uni life is about Y-O-U!!!
Don’t just be “The Girlfriend”
It can become very easy to get swept up into a relationship; romantic dinners and movie dates, quiet nights in, going home every other weekend….. And forgetting that there is any other side to yourself than the cosy and cute exterior of “Totally In Love Girlfriend”
Whether you have a long term boyfriend at home, or have just starting a new relationship with someone at uni, sometimes it can be refreshing, and beneficial for your relationship to take some time out and concentrate on you. It’s good to have interests that are just for you – maybe join a cool society or take some classes at the gym. The problem when you forget who you used to be outside of your relationship comes if it all falls apart, and you could end up feeling a little lost…
Don’t forget about your other relationships!
Beware that while you may be happy in your relationship bubble you may be sacrificing your uni experience in order to please someone else, and abandoning your friends in the process. The key word here is balance. Don’t forfeit time with your housemates and course friends to spend even more time with your boyfriend.Instead, find a compromise and don’t become the recluse who is “always with her boyfriend”.
It’s your friends who will always be there to listen to you moan, when the boyfriend is playing on his Xbox. Make time for a girly evening once a week and catch up with your friends!
[pagebreak]
You can definitely have too much of a good thing…
Most of the time problems occur within a relationship because you are spending too much time together (believe me I’ve seen it happen and been there myself too). The little things turn into BIG ISSUES and suddenly you pretty much hate each other. Problems like this can have a huge impact on the rest of your life. You’re no longer the “Totally In Love Girlfriend”, you’re not even the “Always With The Boyfriend Friend”. Now you’re half of everybody’s least favourite “Constantly Crying/Whinging/Late Night Arguing” couple, which is actually more annoying than when you were blissfully happy.
Now hear us out… If this sounds familiar then a break might can be what your relationship needs, or rather than use that dreaded word just spend less time together. University is not just about our degree, the friends you make and societies you become involved with are very important too. Substitute that extra afternoon you spend with your boyfriend for something else. Luckily for you, being at uni offers a multitude of distractions: the gym, Her Campus (excuse the plug), or even that new society you were thinking of joining. Wine and Cheese Society? The time you spend indulging in you could bring the spark back into your relationship.
Remember that university is all about YOU! Uni is what you make out of it and cuddling with your boyfriend every evening and watching Game of Thrones is not something that will look good on your CV.
Remember that we are all in this together! Whatever relationship you are in remember to have a committed relationship with yourself.
photo credit: giphy.com Pinterest.com