Meeting the parents for the first time is like meeting the friends. You have to be charming and nice. But also responsible and thoughtful. Polite and friendly. With a dash of quick wit thrown in. Basically convince them that their son has not sold himself short because you are an absolute goddess. Ideally, by the end of your meeting, the mother should be enthusing that you are like the ‘daughter she never had!’ (bonus points if her daughter is watching from the sidelines, sulking). And the father marvelling over your joint obsession for ‘Only Fools and Horses’ (which, incidentally, you cannot stand) and arranging a time for a marathon viewing session. It’s definitely attainable. Just follow these tips religiously and do not stray from them.
Nice Girl Clothes – Your favourite scrunchie and velvet jumpsuit combo is a really great look. So is your giant jumper sporting an ironic picture of Snoopy and checked leggings. Don’t wear them. Think ‘nice girl’. Think inoffensive, muted palette. Maybe…maybe even wear a skirt.
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Sucking Up Presents – Box of Celebrations, Lindt if you’re really pushing it. Tasteful bouquet of lilies. It shows you have a basic grasp of manners. And social etiquette. And if a cripplingly awkward silence settles after the introductions you can busy yourself ‘finding’ a vase for the flowers.
Compliment after Compliment – Throw yourself into a sycophantic frenzy. This one is most applicable to the mother. Marvel at the exquisite hand stitching of her purse. Dissolve into incoherence as you inspect her Turkish rug. No, don’t be embarrassed if it gets a bit over-zealous. You hear those people who are all ‘Oh, I hate compliments, they make me so uncomfortable’. These people are lying. EVERYONE loves a compliment.
Minimal Attention to Boyfriend – Extract any hint of sexual tension between the two of you. Don’t shrink away from his touch obviously, but let the parents know that, though you are boyfriend and girlfriend, the most you two do is occasionally hug. This is a relationship built on mutual respect and admiration. There’s no need for them to know that you worked through most of Chapter 7 of the Karma Sutra last night.
Gentle Ridiculing of Boyfriend – It’s fine, you’re in a relationship now! He’s stuck with you. You’ve already won him over. The parents, however, you have not. If his Mum starts fondly talking about how messy his room is, chime in with a ‘God, I know, he’s like a child isn’t he!’. Perfect opportunity to discuss and laugh over what a useless lump he is. Best friends.
Photo Credits: memecenter.com, tumblr.com