So, it’s your first term at uni and you couldn’t be more excited. You’re looking forward to many a crazy night out clubbing, wearing all those fabulous dressing up costumes you will be investing in (because of course you will always put 100% effort into your costumes), you’re buzzing to get into a uni lecture hall and start your degree, and you’re also undeniably excited about all the hot guys that you’re going to meet – after all, haven’t you been told that uni is the ultimate place to meet a man?
Now let’s skip ahead a bit. It’s now nearing the end of your time at uni, you’re starting to realise you prefer a night at Firehouse with pizza and cider to shotting tequila in a club, you gave up on extravagant costumes months ago (and now just wheel out the same few on rotation), you’re realising you no longer feel any enthusiasm for your lectures at all, and you are also undeniably, 100%, indefinitely still single.
Here at HCX, we know the single life all too well, and we know it can be a little dull to say the least. Don’t get us wrong, we love a night in with Netflix and Ben and Jerry’s as much as the next girl, but going on a date with a cute guy would really spice up our evenings (or at least give us the chance to wear something besides our tracky bottoms). Single life can be disappointing at times, especially if you’re always having to watch your friends go out for romantic dinners and delicious fancy cocktails, while you’re sat at home re-watching that episode of Gogglebox you only just saw last night. But being single at uni is not necessarily as bad as it can first seem, so here’s a list of our top 7 things to do which can help you deal with the struggle of being consistently single at uni.
1. Embrace the fact being single can sometimes suck
Perhaps the biggest problem with being single at uni is, ironically, not admitting to yourself that sometimes you wish you weren’t single. Often there’s a big stigma surrounding people who say that they’d like a partner, with others saying that it makes them sound ‘weak’ or ‘pathetic’ to admit that. But this is definitely not the case. Admitting that you would like to be in a relationship is not something you should be ashamed of, in fact it’s something to be proud of. By recognising what you want, you’re opening yourself up to the possibility of it actually happening. We know how tempting it can be to make faces and cringe at cutesy couples, especially when you’re feeling particularly annoyed with your own single status. But by resisting the ‘I hate love’ approach, you will not only feel more positive about your own singleness, but will also be ready and open to meet and date a nice guy when the time comes.
2. Spend time with friends
The number one thing to help you through those long evenings at home on your sofa, is undoubtedly to spend time with your friends. Spending time with people is the best way to stop yourself from feeling a bit lonely, and besides we really don’t need much encouragement to crack open some wine and head out to Monkey Suit. What’s most important here though is to not exclude those friends who are in relationships from coming out with you. Don’t get us wrong, sometimes going out with your fellow single gals can be just what the doctor ordered, but by totally closing yourself off from your ‘loved up’ friends, it can often add fuel to the whole ‘men suck – love sucks – everybody sucks’ fire. Now we’re not suggesting third wheeling by any stretch of the imagination (been there, done that, sat through the awkward couple kisses), but on a night out, make sure to invite all your gal friends – you’ll feel a lot better for it in the long run. And, besides, maybe their boyfriend has a cute friend?
3. Delete Tinder
Now, we’re not saying that you can’t meet some nice guys on Tinder, or saying you can’t go on some great nights out. If you’re lucky, you can even end up dating someone pretty decent for a while. But let’s be honest; Tinder guys never seem to work out in the long run. Yes, we all know that girl ‘who went on a Tinder date and has been with her idolising boyfriend for three years and they’re now currently planning their around the world trip together’ but, for the majority of us, Tinder just doesn’t work out like that. Often disappointing and full of some creepy one liners, it’s an app that we all probably need to delete from our lives.
4. Stop trying too hard to look perfect
This may be an over-used piece of advice but it’s one that can’t be over-emphasised. Not only is trying hard to look and act perfect all the time extremely exhausting, but it’s also totally not worth it. When we like a guy it can be really tempting to go all out and try to impress him with our fabulousness. But if a guy only pays attention to you when you’re all dressed up or trying to be someone that you’re not, then he doesn’t deserve the real and amazing you. Instead, we recommend embracing yourself and all your weird and wonderful wackiness. When the right guy comes along, he won’t be able to resist the unique and fantastic person that is you.
5. Get a new hobby
Getting a new hobby can be both exciting and time consuming. By busying yourself with new activities, it’s the perfect way to occupy some of those quieter single life days. Anything from sports, to reading, to learning a new language… Though it may sound cliche, the best way to be happy is to just start loving yourself and enjoying your own life to the full. Having a hobby is a great way to feel good about yourself and is the perfect way to take your mind off men and start focusing on the more important person that is you.
6. Embrace the perks
Rather than focusing on the pitfalls of being single, we think it’s important to look at the many perks that come with this status. Sometimes it’s very easy to focus on the ‘I have no one to do things with’ aspect of the single life – but there are MANY perks that we just know we’d miss if we had a boyfriend: watching whatever we want on Netflix (Pretty Little Liars marathon, anyone?), spending all our money only on ourselves (why hello there, new dress), always being free for a night out with the girls, getting to wear the same hoodie and tracky bottoms combo for three days without comment, and most importantly – not having to share food (because, hello, Ben and Jerry’s is just too small for sharing). These are just some of the many benefits of being single, and by focusing on these positives, you’re sure to find yourself soon embracing the single life in all its glory.
7. Don’t lose hope
Perhaps the most important advice of all is to not give up hope. It’s true, being single at uni can make you feel incredibly low and down about yourself. If you’ve had to go through a series of let downs, disappointments and rejections, it’s very easy to start doubting everything about yourself – from your looks to your personality. But what is most important to remember here is that just because things haven’t worked out so far, it does not mean that they are never going to. University is not everything and it is by no means the only place to meet someone. There’s a huge pressure (sometimes one that we put on ourselves) to find a partner at university, and seeing friends get asked out and going around in couples by no means particularly helps us shake this feeling. But uni isn’t everything and neither is having a boyfriend. While it’s ok to admit that we would ideally like to be in a relationship, the important thing is to not let this worry consume you. It will happen when it will happen. There is someone out there for you, they just may not be at uni. So don’t start panicking or worrying or thinking you’ll be forever single, because you won’t – we guarantee it. Keep on loving yourself and loving life and it won’t be long until you find your Chuck Bass, who will treat you like the fabulous catch you are. After all, good things come to those who wait.