Being confident in bed is something you shouldn’t have to think about. But, we realise everyone has their own insecurities, and so here are some suggestions of how to feel better about yourself when you’re fooling around.
Start off slow
It’s important to remember that you’re under no obligation to the other person when it comes to sex. You can go totally at your own pace and just enjoy everything as it happens. You’re not required to jump straight into bed with someone, and you’ll have a much better time if you feel in control of everything going on. Make sure you communicate with your partner about this, as being left in the dark only leaves someone jumping to the wrong conclusions. If you explain to them that you just aren’t that brave when it comes to sex, they will understand and want to boost your confidence. If they don’t feel like that, then potentially they aren’t right for you.
Remember, they will have insecurities too
You have to realise that we are all human, if you’re sleeping with someone that is totally content with their body then they are either an Adonis or they’re a liar. And since we last checked, there doesn’t seem to be many Greek Gods around campus. So they’ll likely be thinking what you think of them rather than the other way round. To them, you are either partially or totally naked and they get to touch you; that’s definitely more than good enough for them.
Slip into something a little more… comfortable.
Yes, girl, buy something slinky to wear. And take your time over it, don’t just buy the first Brazilian pair of pants you see. Think about what suits you; if you have a petite build then go for something like a balconette bra, whereas if you have a few more curves then embrace the plunge bra and enhance your assets. A) You’ll feel sexier if you look the part and B) your partner will definitely appreciate the effort. Now I’m not saying they won’t fancy you when you’re in your tracky bottoms, but it’s always fun to spice things up and it sets the mood for the pair of you if you’re ‘dressed for the occasion’. And if you’re feeling particularly elaborate, there’s also a whole world of dress-up options for the more adventurous amongst us.
Keep active
Now we’re not saying you have to go out and lose ten pounds, no, no, no. Your partner and you should embrace your shape, but you may feel hotter just for feeling a bit fitter and healthier than usual. Plus, it’ll likely improve your performance if you’ve increased your stamina which will allow you go for longer. And, bonus, exercise increases blood flow to the genitals and increases all the best feel good hormones for sex, so feel free to thank us later ;)
Set the lighting
Both guys and ladies have told us that they prefer dimmed lighting when they’re ‘hooking up’ with someone. You can see the attraction, a multitude of sins are hidden by a slight shadow, but obviously you don’t want to be fumbling around in the dark, you never know what you might find. Now, investing in a dimmer switch may not be top of your priority list, but just stick to your lamp rather than a big main light.
Finally, what you have to remember is that when all is said and done, this person wants to sleep with you, and they wouldn’t be there if they weren’t attracted to you. So don’t put so much pressure on how you look and think more about how everything feels. You can’t be having a good time if you’re thinking about how your stomach looks. Believe us, everyone has rolls when they are bent in weird positions as sex requires, you can’t possibly hold it all in at once and you shouldn’t try.