Continuing on from last week’s debunking of misconceptions about Asexuality, this week we’re looking at some of the common myths surrounding another frequently misunderstood orientation: Pansexuality.
1. There’s no difference between bisexuality and pansexuality
One aspect of pansexuality that often attracts confusion and/or criticism is that to understand it as a valid sexuality also requires an understanding of the fact that the gender binary doesn’t exist: there are more than two genders.
Bisexuality is generally defined as the sexual attraction to two genders: generally both men and women. Pansexuality, however, is the capability for sexual attraction regardless of gender identity. A person identifying as pansexual can be attracted to anyone of any gender or biological sex. In short, they do not need to know about how a person identifies in order to be attracted to them!
For people who can’t wrap their head around the fact that the gender binary is, frankly, utter crap, it can be difficult to understand the difference between the two. The concept of pansexuality relies upon the existence of intersex, genderqueer, genderfluid and nonbinary identifying people. Remember: gender identity is a spectrum.
It’s all fluid, folks.
2. Someone who identifes as pansexual is incapable of being in a monogomous relationship
“Greedy”, “slutty” and “adulterous” are all words that are often attributed to pansexuality, which is both incredibly rude and hilariously naive.
Let’s get one thing straight (or not straight, if you’ll excuse the pun): pansexuality does not mean polyamory. Some pansexuals are polyamorous, by all means, but also so are some heterosexual people and some homosexual people and some asexual people, and so on. Being attracted to people regardless of gender doesn’t mean you’re any less likely to be in a monogamous relationship, nor does it mean you’re any more likely to be promiscious or to cheat on your partner.
Yes, being pansexual does mean that there are more people in the world that you could feasibly have sex with, but that absolutely doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily going to have sex with all of them. Some pansexual people might enjoy having many sexual partners, but some might not, because, believe it or not, sexual orientation actually doesn’t dictate sexual behaviour.
3. Pansexuality is evidence that people are too obsessed with labelling their sexuality
A lot of people, especially older people, often enjoy shaking their heads and tutting everytime they hear about a sexual identity they weren’t aware of previously. They love to complain about how these identities “weren’t around in my day” and they complain about how people are obsessed with “labels”.
Pansexuality has attracted a lot of criticism as a label: it has been considered too similar to bisexuality, and many people who identify as pansexual are perceived to be bisexual people desperate to feel special and unique. Some even think that people are identifying with pansexuality because it’s “fashionable” and “trendy”. For many people who identify as pansexual, the defintion of bisexuality is simply too narrow for them, and doesn’t represent their own sexual identity in a way that they feel comfortable with.
I’m not debating the fact that there is, perhaps, an overemphasis upon placing yourself into a box, and in some instances, the intense categorisation of sexuality can be more damaging than helpful. On the flipside, however, it’s important to understand that for some people, having a word which effectively describes their own experiences that they can identify with and, more importantly, a community of people who feel the same way that they can connect to, is utterly invaluable.
Why do we care so much about how people identify, anyway? Sexual identity is incredibly personal: each person assigns their own meanings onto their label of choice, or they choose not to label themselves at all. The point is that it’s literally nobody’s business excepct their own. Our own personal opinions on labelling should have no bearing upon how other people choose to identify.
4. Someone who identifies as pansexual is sexually attracted to frying pans
This can also be applied to saucepans, griddle pans, woks, and other kitchen paraphernalia. A standard coming out conversation with the ‘comedic geniuses’ who think this is a funny/appropriate joke to make tend to go something like this:
Person who identifies as Pansexual: “Hey, friend, I’m pansexual.”
Other person: “So you want to have sex with pans…?”
Person who identifies as Pansexual: *stares at the camera like they’re in the Office*
#stopmakingterriblejokesaboutpeoplessexualorientations2k16