What to Know Before Getting into a Serious Relationship
By: Mya Kermelewicz
One thing I have learned about being in love and in a serious relationship is that just like anything else, you never truly understand it until you have experienced it. I thought that it would always be like the movies and fairytales I’ve seen, but I know now that every relationship has their own love story and usually not the perfect fairytale! Now before I go on and say all the things I know about serious relationships, it’s important to note that I know I have much more to learn and experience, I’m far too young to know everything about love. As always I just thought it would be fun to share my thoughts with you.
You end up putting a lot of dependence and faith into them
The longer you’re with someone they become not only your boyfriend or girlfriend but they become like family. They become that person you can always rely on to put a smile on your face, help you out in any situation, and overall just be there for you through the good and the bad. You will probably find yourself wanting to tell them everything down to what you ate for lunch that day. It’s important to not be completely emotionally dependent on your partner because that can become unhealthy, but there is just a sense of comfort that comes with knowing you always have someone to turn to.
No more playing games girls and boys
It’s a little bit sad to say, but in a time where relationships are social media based and complicated is the norm, it has to end. You can’t be sending mixed signals or playing hard to get with your S.O. That is a complete recipe for a dating disaster. You have to be all for them and show them that. You have to learn to be honest and grow really strong communication skills together because that is the only way for you both to remain happy and healthy together. If there’s a problem, talk about it. If you’re head over heels in love and obsessed with them, let them know. Your partner will want to know how your feeling! If they don’t then they aren’t the right one.
Their family becomes your family as well
If you didn’t think that you already had enough family time with your own, get ready for double the family events. It’s important to have a bond with your partners family if you’re in a serious relationship because it’s going to make everyone happy, including you! It feels amazing to be close with your partners family and know that you are supported and loved. You will probably be at many family dinners, events, and probably be sleeping at their house at some point. So take time to cozy up and learn why your partner is exactly who they are and where they came from.
I hate to say it but you might become that friend who blows off a night out to stay in with your boo
Yup that person who you’ve talked shit about for always being with their girlfriend or boyfriend might actually become you. Yikes. But when your relationship is flourishing it’s natural to want to spend more time with your partner. Drinks with Becky may become second priority on a saturday night because your partner and you want to have a cozy night in and watch the new purge. With this said though always make sure to spend time with your friends too because if you’ve got some good ones then you don’t want to lose them. And if you and your boo don’t work out, your going to want many drinks with Becky.
You absolutely CANNOT compare your new S.O to your EX
Yes I get it, Brad screwed Taylor in the back of his pick up last summer. Yup, I know you don’t trust right away. It’s all good to have a little bit of a guard up, trust me we have all been there. But just because you weren’t treated right before does not mean that every single other relationship will end the same way. Unless they give you a reason not to trust them, don’t go comparing them to your ex without even giving them a chance. They deserve a chance and odds are you could be the one pushing them away from your own insecurities. THIS CAN BE VERY HARD. But you have to learn to trust and open up again at some point.
You can’t be completely selfish anymore
When in a serious relationship you absolutely need to consider the wants and needs of your partner. You want to confide in them when it comes to big decisions, or decisions that you think will be affecting them too. For example taking a job across the country or joining the military. Those are things that you and your partner will have to talk about. Sometimes relationships come with big and small sacrifices that you don’t always think about when your single. Even just knowing that you can’t sleep like a starfish anymore because they need room in the bed too.
You will probably feel hurt at one point or another
Giving your heart to someone is always a risk. Relationships can come with pain, worry, jealousy, and disappointment. Stuff happens, but you learn and grow from it. Relationships are complicated and they take patience and work. But at the end of the day being in love is the strongest and best feeling I have ever experienced. It’s like no other and I like to believe the older you become the more intense and gratifying love will become. Although there is the fear of being hurt, I think it would be more of a disservice to yourself to never allow yourself to fall into the deepest love you possibly can.