As I do my daily scroll of TikTok, I often fall victim to those videos that go something like “Questions you HAVE to Ask your Boyfriend” and naturally, I immediately facetime my boyfriend, eager to hear his answers. As cheesy and click-baity as these questions sound, I have found them to honestly be really beneficial for our overall communication. Having been in an almost 2 year relationship, each time we sit to have these deeper conversations, I find that I learn new things about my boyfriend that I wouldn’t have known otherwise. These questions can be asked in any type of relationship, such as friendships, not just romantic ones. I have made a list of all of my favorite and most beneficial questions from the probably hundreds of videos I have seen:
- What is one place you want to show me someday?
- What is your favorite memory of us?
- What makes you feel appreciated? (alternative: what is your love language)
- Do you find there to be any friction in our relationship, and if so, what can we do to fix it?
- Note: “No, there is nothing wrong, everything is perfect” is not an acceptable answer!
- Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
- What are your core values?
- What is one question that you have been afraid/nervous to ask me?
- What is a question you wish people would ask you more often?
- If it was your last day on Earth, how would you spend it?
- What is your biggest dream at the moment and how can I help you achieve it?
I hope that these questions help; but remember: you need to be honest with yourself and your partner. It is nice to be lovey-dovey, but remember that it is not realistic to just call each other perfect and not ever address problems in a healthy way. If you find yourself nervous to give a truly honest answer, then maybe take some time to consider why you might feel that way. In that scenario, I find that it is more important to share your feelings instead of cooping them up.