Since Netflix announced that The Hunger Games movie series would leave their platform on March 30th, 2023, my TikTok has been flooded with individuals reflecting on the films. Some users have posted their “Hunger Games Phases,” where one posts multiple images proving just how big of a fan they were when the movies were first released in 2012. Another trend taking the app by storm is the “Ideal Hunger Games” trend, where individuals assign their favorite characters, celebrities, and pop-culture icons to districts. Because I am a huge fan of The Hunger Games myself, I took on the task of developing my ideal Hunger Games set-up.
Firstly, the President I would assign to my ideal Hunger Games is no other than Wendy Williams. The chaos that surrounds her, her unpredictability, and her energetic nature is necessary for an event as dramatic and grand as the Hunger Games. With her in the leading position, there will surely be no rest at the Capitol of Panem.
HEAD GAME MAKER
Then, as head game maker, I would obviously have the one, the only, Dwight Schrute. Dwight, a character in the TV series, The Office, is a very aggressive, boss-pleasing workaholic that will do anything necessary to succeed. In The Office, viewers watch the multiple ways that Dwight, for lack of a better term, tortures his coworkers. I believe that his determination would be well-equipped as the game maker. He would almost act as an assistant to the President, which is a position Dwight excels in. Just think about how many bears he would place in the arena!
For announcers, I would have Wipeout’s commentators, John Anderson and John Henson. Watching them comment on the multiple contestants on Wipeout is nothing but enjoyable and humorous. I believe they would host the shows that Caesar is shown hosting in the films very well, as they both have flamboyant personalities and tell wonderful jokes.
In District 1, Luxury, my ideal tributes would be Moira Rose from Schitt’s Creek and Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development. Both of these women are glamorous mothers whose wealth and luxurious lifestyle is threatened on a regular basis. They have sass, spunk, and so much sarcasm; these traits would be so fun to watch in the show hosted by the commentators. Because they will do anything they need to for some extra cash and new jewelry, I believe they would use this motivation in the games.
In District 2, Masonry, my ideal tributes would be Bobble and Clank from the Tinkerbell movie series. Nobody knows how to craft better than these two fairies. I just know that as soon as the first cannon fires, they will fly straight into the woods and start constructing the best shelter one has ever seen. Their friendship will play a major role in carrying them to the very end.
In District 3, Technology, my ideal tributes are Radio Rebel and Rebecca Wilson from Spy Kids. Radio Rebel made significant contributions to changing her culture for the better and she did it anonymously. How sneaky! *iconic hair tuck behind the ear.* She will find a way to broadcast the Hunger Games and she will do so fabulously. Now Rebecca Wilson…she is a little evil prankster and she is going to fool every single tribute. She is going to develop so many booby-traps that the other individuals will have no idea what hit them. And if she’s confronted? She will act as the sweet, innocent, perfect little girl we know and love.
In District 4, Fishing, my ideal tributes are Aquamarine from Aquamarine and Ponyo. Aquamarine is going to effortlessly make every tribute fall in love with her and to be honest, I don’t think she would hurt a soul. In fact, she’ll probably make everyone friendship bracelets. While this would be great at summer camp, she would likely do awful in the arena. But it would be fun! I really cannot describe why I think Ponyo would do a great job in the games, they kind of just would. Ponyo makes friends easily and would probably form a power alliance in the first ten minutes of the games.
In District 5, Power, my ideal tributes are Jeff Probst, host of Survivor, and Chris McLean, animated host of Total Drama Island. McLean’s character was based off of Jeff Probst, and justifyingly so. They both have more power than they know and still come off friendly. Well, Jeff comes off friendly. They both know the tactics and strategies that are best for surviving, and will easily manipulate any tribute that comes their way.
In District 6, Transportation, I have the Disney World monorail and James Cordon’s tow truck. The Disney World monorail is one of the greatest modes of transportation in the world and no one can convince me otherwise. Furthermore, James Cordon was just recently exposed, as in his Carpool Karaoke segments, a tow truck actually drives him along the road. That’s right…it was all fake! The manipulating, gaslighting power of this tow truck is like no other.
In District 7, Lumber, my ideal tributes are Ke$ha in her “Timber” era and the Onceler from The Lorax. Nobody can chop a tree down faster than the Onceler and Ke$ha will be there to serenade him along the way. The song, “Timber,” changed lives, and Ke$ha will change lives in the arena. As for the Onceler, he’ll likely turn the games into his own market and sell all of his goods for money. The power these two hold is undeniable.
In District 8, Textiles, I have Frankie Grande and Jared Leto. Jared Leto had everyone’s jaws dropped when he carried a fake model of his own head at the Met Gala, and I know that he will bring his wild fashion sense into the games. Frankie Grande is also an icon, and will hopefully arrive with his purple hair.
In District 9, Grains, my ideal tributes are Chef from Total Drama Island and Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman. As one says, let them cook! Ree Drummond is going to take everyone’s awful soup and turn it into the most scrumptious meal they’ve ever tasted. When it comes to Chef, he has experience with cooking odd meats and substances, and he will do just fine surviving off of squirrels and leaves.
In District 10, Livestock, I have Waddles from Gravity Falls and Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web. Go Team Pig! Waddles was the best sidekick and stuck by Mabel’s side through every adventure, regardless of the danger. Waddles has witnessed some very strange and terrifying events, so the Hunger Games will be a catwalk for him. Wilbur will probably be very scared, but thankfully he has a good teammate. Wilbur is kind, selfless, and heroic, but he will need to be a bit more aggressive in the arena.
In District 11, Agriculture, I have the yodeling kid, Mason Ramsey, and the app designer of Hay Day, Camilla Avellar. Mason Ramsey changed lives with his voice, and Camilla Avellar changed lives with her mobile game. Avellar has to know what she is doing if she can develop a game as enjoyable, educational, and revolutionary as Hay Day. Mason Ramsey will take advantage of The Mockingjays and make everyone’s ears ring, but if it helps him, who cares!
In the final district, District 12, Mining, my ideal tributes are ScarGirl from TikTok and Perez Hilton. They may not know how to actually mine, but oh my can they dig for attention! These two would probably become best friends and spend the whole time talking gossip together instead of trying to survive.
You cannot possibly tell me that this lineup is not absolutely spectacular, because it just is.