Distance, whether 10 miles or 1000 miles, can be a huge toll on any relationship. I never realized how difficult it would be until my boyfriend and I both went to different colleges. Before this, the most time we spent apart was a little over a week when he went on vacation with his family to Yellowstone National Park and got stuck in Chicago on one of his flights back (long story lol). That stretch of time, though, felt like an eternity. I kept thinking to myself “how am I going to be able to make it through college without seeing him? I can’t even handle this.” As you can tell, I was extremely intimated by long distance. I didn’t even want to think about it, but college came around fast and my boyfriend and I were many miles apart before I even knew it.
It has now been just about two months since we’ve started long distance. We are very fortunate to be able to see each other every few weekends, but the time we spend apart is filled with a lot of new experiences and tactics that keep our relationship healthy and thriving. Keep reading if you want to learn more about them!
Communication is the most important thing in any relationship, and long distance is a major obstacle when it comes to this. Because you are not physically with your significant other, it may be more challenging to find other ways communicate because of different schedules and such. In my relationship, we make sure we always text each other throughout the day, giving each other quick little updates like what we’re doing, what classes we’re going to, what we’re eating, etc. It’s also important to let the other person know that you might be busy and not responding a lot or at all. Just try to keep each other in the loop as much as possible! A great way for my boyfriend and I to end our days is to FaceTime each other so we can see each other face-to-face and talk about how our days went. This is something we try to always make time for. We also use FaceTime to have meal dates. When we both are going to the dining hall at the same time, we FaceTime each other and share a meal together because this is something we would do a lot before college.
A great way to keep up with each other’s schedules is to use a shared calendar app. My boyfriend and I use TimeTree and we added the times of our classes to it. The app allows for color coordination of each person and it shows overlaps of events. It’s also really easy to add new events to it, for example, if you’re joining a club and have meetings every Wednesday you can add that into the calendar. Overall, it’s a great reference to go back to and it helps to avoid those repetitive questions of “where are you?” or “what are you doing?”
Long distance tends to bring a lot of uncertainty, so it is important to provide quick reassurance for your significant other. One way my boyfriend and I do this is to let each other know when we’re thinking of each other. We decided to come up with a combination of emojis to signify this that we can text each other with the echo effect to fill each other’s screens. Whenever I get this text, it’s instant serotonin.
It’s very important to have a memento or few that your significant other gave you, or that you made/ bought together for when you’re apart. Before we left, my boyfriend gave me a few of his hoodies and we made a few decorations to hang up in each other’s dorms, along with a bunch of pictures with each other. While in school, he sent me a Send a Friend otter with a personalized note and a few of the reversible octopuses and I cherish these tremendously. All of these things that I mentioned are like having a piece of your significant other with you, and I highly recommend this in a long distance relationship.
Though long distance keeps you and your significant other apart, it doesn’t have to stop you from doing your favorite activities. My boyfriend and I would spend most of our time watching Netflix when we were together, so the discovery of Teleparty changed our lives. Teleparty basically allows you and your significant other to watch shows together on Netflix and Hulu as if you were watching on the same screen. There’s even a little chat section that you can use to talk to each other! We’ve watched Stranger Things, Squid Game, and now we’re watching season 3 of You together. This is a great way to wind down before bed while also sharing a special moment with the one you love, despite the distance.
Long distances requires a lot of acclimating because it’s a whole new environment and level of a relationship. It definitely took some time to get into the groove of it and get used to being apart from your significant other for a longer period of time. With this being said, I really hope some of the things that my boyfriend and I do were able to help some of you that are in long distance relationships. You are all so strong and I’m sending the best wishes to you and your partners :)