All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You

An Ode to Every College Boy I Expected to Find

An Ode to Patrick (and every other college boy I expected to find) 

*Disclaimer: Patrick is not a real person that goes to Emory*

 

I thought it was going to be like in the movies 

I’d be unpacking my luggage from the trunk of my car 

You’d be there, with your tousled hair and goofy grin 

 

The people you meet in college are supposed to be your friends for life 

But I never found you, Patrick 

I searched, I promise I did

 

I never saw you in Mags, maybe that wasn’t your scene

I waited, hopeful, in the DUC, thinking I’d bump into you

Our paths never crossed, or maybe you just didn’t exist

 

Instead I found Matt and Johnny and Adam 

They were never quite able to live up to you

I think my expectations were set way too high

 

Because when I went looking, I returned empty handed 

I know now, my dear Patrick

You are nothing but a dream

 

I’ve been at college for 8 months, and they have been some of the best months of my life. I think it’s important to note that it was in no way what I was expecting. Everyone has something to say about their time in college, some tidbit to offer about how your time will be. “Be social, but not too social.” “Hold on to every moment.” “It’s full of ups and downs.” Everyone talks about their college experience fondly, so our expectations become increasingly higher as we lead up to the moment where we step foot in our dorm for the first time. 

Coming to college, I expected to find my friends for life right away. To all my friends right now, I am constantly surprised when I remember that I only met you several months ago months ago. Thankfully, I have found people I know I can count on for the rest of my life. While that sounds definitive and cliche, I really think it’s true. One thing I (along with many, I’m sure) expected was to find the love of my life. Obviously I’m only a first-year, so I’d be crazy to think it would have happened by now. Yet somehow, I did. And every time I went out, I waited for the magical moment to come. I waited to have an encounter like in the movies, where our eyes meet across a crowded room, and we both know. My friends and I have had countless conversations about hookup culture. We are never satisfied with the multitude of drunk interactions in a crowded frat that lead us to question what we are doing at 1am over McDonalds (yes, we’ve all been there). 

We lie to ourselves and say that it’s what you make of it, and we have the power to stop at any point. Everyone does it, and everyone is seemingly okay with it. Deep down, I think we all want a Patrick. A dreamy boy that is worthy of late night texts to friends at home and an array of thoughts that cross your mind during every lecture. I truly hope Patrick is out there somewhere. Personally, I’m just over the hookups. I don’t want these random interactions that are eventually dulled down to a Snapchat streak and limited conversation. In the age we live in now, most of our society is built upon superficial relationships created online. The chance encounters of quite literally bumping into each other no longer happen. I’m here to say I think we need to shift backwards. What happened to movie theater and milkshake dates? Long drives and conversation that lasted the whole night? 

F*ck my expectations, but who can really blame me for having them. I’m hopeful—it’s only been my first year. Who knows what’ll happen?