Dear Bisexuality,
You have always been here. I think I’ve always acknowledged you. You lurked in the shadows throughout my childhood and through my early teen years. I was scared of you at first. I don’t even think I liked you at first. There was something so daunting about you and a part of me did not want to open the door and let you in. You never went away though no matter how hard I shut you out even when I wasn’t purposefully trying to. You were so patient with me and for that I’m so thankful for. I think you might have more patience than any of the people I know.
You took a lot from me at one point. You broke up friendships, made it difficult to find love, made it hard for me to let people know the real me. There were times I wish I could completely erase you. Someone I loved looked at me different because of you. They thought I was wrong and confused. But no, you’re not confused, you know exactly who you are. You made me feel stigmatized. You made me feel like a stereotype. I was just seen by girls as “the girl who will always choose a guy”, and seen by guys as “the girl who will cheat with another girl”. I felt so isolated. I started to believe those people, and the box they tried so hard to put me in started to feel real. There are some nights still where I will lay in bed staring at the ceiling and think to myself that it would be so much easier if you weren’t stuck to me. I know it’s only because of this need to constantly be perceived as the perfect person to others.
Without you I wouldn’t be who I am. You have taken so much from me yet given me even more. You have provided me with beautiful friendships and the most welcoming and safe community. You have made me begin to feel like my best self. I’m feeling more comfortable in my skin. You empower me even when it feels like I’m being alienated. There’s something about your presence that has allowed me to discover a whole different part of myself. The things people say about you are the opposite of the truth. I think you’re beautiful and misunderstood. You continue to bring out the best in me and I can’t wait to continue this journey called life with you right by my side. No matter how hard the journey gets, I promise not to ever shut you out again. You’re a double edge sword, but I wouldn’t trade you for the world. Thank you for making me who I am.
Love always,
Aria