Taken and Crushing

Hey Girls!

For those of you in a long-distance relationship, you probably know that it surely isn’t easy. In fact, it sucks, especially when you’re in a new place surrounded by new people and new guys. Sure, Emerson isn’t the straightest college in the world, but there are still plenty of attractive men here that are single. For some of us, this could easily turn into a problem without some serious self-discipline and maybe a little bit of advice. As someone in a long-distance relationship, I know what this is like, and I’ll admit it, I have had some baby crushes since I’ve been here, but I’ve been able to prevent anything from happening to keep my relationship strong. Let me tell you how I’ve been doing this.

First of all, I find it helpful to think about how much I treasure the relationship I have with my boyfriend. For me, it definitely isn’t something I’m willing to sacrifice for these people that I barely know. If you’ve been struggling with your long-distance lover, then maybe you should talk to them about what is happening. Sometimes, breaking up saves both of you from a lot of heartbreak. Potentially, you could be in an open-relationship where it is ok for you to do things with other people while still being in a relationship, with the consent of the other person, of course. But I’m telling you right now, this is extremely complicated! If it can be avoided, avoid it. I personally found that this was a learning experience and actually made me realize that I am over the random hook-up fiasco. I’d rather be with the person I love. However, if you’re looking for alternate solutions to make you and your partner happy, that could be one of them.

Additionally, you should set boundaries for yourself. Make sure that the person at your school knows you are in a relationship and most importantly, make sure they respect that. There is nothing wrong with hanging out and being friends with someone you have a mini crush on, but nothing says “problems” quite like them leaning in for the kiss when you are trying to prevent it from happening in the first place.

This one may sound silly, but remember that they are not your boyfriend! It is easy to start craving company and that cuddle-buddy you have had by your side, but this new person isn’t them! You cannot expect them to do the things your significant other does. They will probably not text you goodnight or want to hang out all the time. Don’t get needy! That is not only a way to make your crush completely avoid you, but it also makes you want them with you more which can only lead to conflict.

If you’re in it for the long run, then keep this in mind. Text, call, or Skype the person you’re in a relationship with often. This will remind you how important they are to you and hopefully fill the distance between you and them.

Alright, girls. Try these things out. Remember: be strong, be careful and don’t forget why you decided to come to college in a relationship in the first place!

Xoxo Chelsea