The Oscars Don’t Have a Host Yet and I am Pissed

In mid-October, I did what I do every year around the time: I checked The Academy’s Twitter page religiously waiting for the big news. Who is this year’s Oscars host? I mean, they release it around the same time every year, right? Well at least they should. October ended, and a week into November the news came out–only it wasn’t the news I was expecting.

Instead, we learned three new things: 1. The Academy still hadn’t chosen a host. 2. There are two new producers, Michael De Luca and Jennifer Todd. 3. The new producers want to have a much, much shorter Oscars ceremony than there usually is.

First of all, they haven’t chosen a host yet? What?! I mean, I’m ready. I’ve written my monologue, put in a few jokes about celebrities, and maybe a fun musical number in the middle. But that’s not the point. Where is our host, and why haven’t they found them yet? Instead of making me think that they’re taking extra consideration to find the perfect host, it makes me worry that something is wrong.

That something? Probably De Luca and Todd. De Luca already made an enemy of me in November, when he told The Hollywood Reporter that they wanted to shorten the Oscar ceremony and, “Get it done in as short amount of time as possible, have as many laughs as possible, have as much glamor and Hollywood style as possible, and let people have a good time. In and out. Nobody gets hurt. Just fun.”

Yes, now you understand why I am pissed. I love the Oscars, and I start counting down to the next show the second one has finished. In my perfect world, the Oscars last longer than their typical three hours. Obviously, I do not want a short ceremony, no matter how sweet the producers promise it will be.

Here’s the thing: Long Oscars ceremonies aren’t bothering anybody. The people who watch the Oscars fully are the ones who want to see three hours. The people at the Oscars are too pumped up with adrenaline to realize that they are there. This is part of the business; the Oscars are long, deal with it. Other lesser awards shows are equally as long and not nearly as prestigious.

What worries me is how De Luca and Todd plan to shorten them. After all, they are pretty basic. There’s a monologue, presenters, a few short jokes in between, the awards are given out, in memoriam, all nominated songs are performed and the show is done until next year. If would be completely unfair to the Best Song nominees if all their songs were not performed during the broadcast. They better not even think of following the path of music awards shows and only giving awards out to the major categories. The host spends most of the time talking, but we know there isn’t a host in the works just yet. So why not just cut the host, right? Cut the speeches, too, maybe no presenters, and we can just mail the little gold statues home to winners without giving them a platform to accept them.

If they are going to make these big changes, it both worries and angers me. We get it, guys, you’ve made movies. So did I, in 10th grade for school projects. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to alter the Oscars.

And yeah, I know this article-turned-rant will probably remain in infamy as a moment when I lost my mind over the Oscars, and the ceremony will probably remain the same as it always is. But for somebody who studies the entertainment industry and wants to cover and work in it one day, it raises a red flag when two people want to uproot a system that many people hold near and dear. Small steps, after all.

Also, Michael De Luca and Jennifer Todd? If you still need a host, contact me via the comments section. I’d be happy to lend a hand.