Caffeine. Drug of choice? Love of your life? The only light in the dark void of human existence? There are many scales of love and many types of caffeine, but you may be surprised that these types of caffeine don’t affect the body the one way we know they can: waking us up! Caffeine, like any substance in the body, is processed. Some things run through us much faster, like water, while others are much slower, like alcohol or narcotics. Caffeine isn’t an exact science, however. It is far more dependent on the way the caffeine was ingested that affects its longevity.
Technically, caffeine from any source behaves similarly once it enters your body—that is to say as “go-go juice” for adults—but from personal experience, you’ll know that’s not exactly true. We’re evaluating coffee, tea, energy drinks and more to see how quickly they are processed through the body (and for how long they can get you through the day).
Coffee
If you need a pick me up, coffee is probably the first solution that comes to mind. This is for good reason. Although it has diuretic properties, coffee can have beneficial health affects and does not dehydrate the body. This is good news for the mid-morning migraines or the afternoon slump that would only be perpetuated by dehydration. The downside? It is not a good stimulant option for people with high blood pressure. So if you are in a high-stress job that really boils your blood, maybe stick to decaf and get some more rest the night before.
Tea
Tea always seems like a safe, healthy alternative to seven cups of coffee a day, but the caffeine may just be a little more well hidden. Some varieties of black tea can contain up to 70 milligrams of caffeine per eight-ounce serving. But whereas coffee comes with the possibility of jitters, tea also affects heart rate, alertness and energy (beyond the usual side effect of higher blood pressure). Just be aware of this amount of caffeine when drinking tea and try to stick with green teas instead of black. Green tea averages around 30 milligrams of caffeine and has far more health benefits. You also won’t feel guilty drinking 4 cups of it (because you’ll need it after peeing 20 times that day).
Energy drinks
What can I say about energy drinks that hasn’t been said before? They’re just bad. Not like kind of bad, but really bad. Have fun taking a 5-hour Energy and sending 4 of those 5 hours feeling nauseous, light headed and far from focused. There are plenty of people out there who rely on these drinks and swear that they have no bad effects. My warning goes out to all of you who do not drink Red Bull regularly, STAY AWAY. Like any type of caffeine, it won’t taste or feel right the first time, but after a while, the addiction kicks in. Just stick to coffee and tea, which have less sugar and less unhealthy amounts of caffeine.
Soda
Everyone knows by now that soda is incredibly bad for you. Whether it’s the sugar in regular sodas, or the chemicals in the diet ones, there are no positives to this delicious drink option. With all this sugar, a sugar crash is almost a guaranteed outcome from trying to use it to keep you awake at work. Beyond the sugar crash, it also dehydrates you, something that drains your body even further of energy to get through the work day. If you feel the urge for soda, try to drink seltzer. It is a far healthier option and will still give you that bubbly sensation, if that’s what you’re in to.
Hot Chocolate
Hot chocolate seems like an odd last option on this list, but in fact, hot chocolate has a minimal but substantial caffeine count. It’s extremely rich and sugary and not an office staple, but don’t count out this form of caffeine quite yet. A 2013 Harvard study found that drinking two cups of hot chocolate a day for a month was linked to improved blood flow to the brain and better scores on memory and thinking skill tests for elderly people with impaired blood flow. For all you cocoa lovers out there, perhaps there is hope that hot chocolate will no longer be looked upon as a childish drink.
It’s very obvious from this list what the best option is for caffeine intake. Coffee and tea have the least harmful side effects and are less disruptive to your work schedule. I still recommend more sleep and less coffee, but who has time for that?