Most Ridiculous Hour of Television
This category is neither good nor bad, but rather denotes one show that is (or has become) the least grounded in reality. Gasps, laughs (or face palms) run rampant. The nominees are:
1. Glee
2. Happy Endings
3. Grey’s Anatomy
4. Community
5. Revenge
WINNER: I’m going to have to go with “Glee” on this one. “Community” gives you laughs, “Revenge” gives you gasps and “Grey’s Anatomy” gives you face palms, but leave it to “Glee” to give you all three during 1 hour.
Supporting Character That Makes the Show Worth Watching
They may not have the most storylines, or get to stand in front on the promotional posters, but these characters deliver the gems we wait all week for. The nominees are:
1. Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation (NBC)
2. Maya Rudolph, Up All Night (NBC)
3. Schmidt, New Girl (Fox)
4. James Van Der Beek, Don’t Trust the B In Apt 23 (ABC)
5. Stiles Stalinksy, Teen Wolf (MTV)
WINNER: In honor of her departure from Saturday Night Live, I give this award to Kristen Wiig. Because you knew that even if the skit sucked, her presence could make almost anything funny.
Really? You’re In High School?
I get that Child Labor Laws are a bitch to work with but, seriously? Have you ever actually met a 15 year-old? The nominees are:
1. Spencer Hastings, Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)
2. Noah “Puck” Puckerman, Glee (Fox)
3. Stefan Salvatore, The Vampire Diaries (CW)
4. Cast, 90210 (CW)
5. Jackson Whittemore, Teen Wolf (MTV)
WINNER: In my generosity, I’m awarding this to the entire cast of “90210.” Seriously, I’ve see wrinkles on that show.
Most Useless Character
This character isn’t bad or good, per se. But every time the camera lingers on them, all you can think is, “Huh, you’re still here?” The nominees are:
1. Winston Bishop, New Girl (Fox)
2. Sugar Motta, Glee (Fox)
3. Matt Donovan, Vampire Diaries (CW)
4. Richard “Chief” Webber, Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
5. Chris Traegar, Parks and Recreation (NBC)
WINNER: In a surprise victory, Ted Mosby took the category. With a new baby for Lily and Marshal and Robin and Barney getting married, who cares how he met the mother?
Character You Most Want To Punch In the Face
Call it bad acting, call it bad writing, or maybe call it provocative brilliance. Seriously though, I can’t stand these guys. The nominees are:
1. Hazel Wassername, 30 Rock (NBC)
2. Derek Wills, Smash (NBC)
3. Han Lee, 2 Broke Girls (CBS)
4. Nellie Bertram, The Office (NBC)
5. Quinn Fabray, Glee (Fox)
WINNER: The winner is undoubtedly Quinn in this one. She forgot she had a baby, until she remembered again and decided to steal it back from the adopted mother. Then she forgot about it again, went grunge for 14 minutes, had a life-threatening accident that seemed to make little to no impact on her life, AND she got into Yale despite no evidence of opening a book in the past 4 years. Can I please hit her smug little face?
DILF (Dad I’d Like to F***)
A lot of new characters became dads this TV season, some by adoption, some by accident, some in a magical land where time stands still… But here are the ones who are still keeping it tight and looking foxy. The nominees are:
1. Seeley Booth, Bones (Fox)
2. Marshall Eriksen, How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
3. David/ Prince Charming, Once Upon a Time (ABC)
4. Jim Halpert, The Office (NBC)
5. Derek Shepherd, Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
WINNER: I have to give this one to Prince Charming. The circumstances are strange, mind you, in that he doesn’t know about his child during most of the show and she’s already 28 years old – yet technically not even born yet. But hey, the guy is LITERALLY Prince Charming!
Character I’d Like to Be BFF’s With
Do you ever see a character and say, “Omg! We are exactly the same! We would be best friends, if she, you know, existed.” Here are the ladies I would invite to my slumber party. The nominees are:
1. Mary Margaret/ Snow White, Once Upon a Time (ABC)
2. Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation (NBC)
3. Caroline Forbes, The Vampire Diaries (CW)
4. Jess Day, New Girl (Fox)
5. Liz Lemon, 30 Rock (NBC)
WINNER: In a close category, the winner went to Leslie Knope! I just would love to eat waffles with her and go on overly prepared day trips and have drinks on Galentine’s Day together. Another win for the City Councilor!
Best Couple
You rooted for them. You squealed at their first kiss. You may have even made up a nickname for them. Whatever the facts, these couples are dynamite together, and one just isn’t as good without the other. The nominees are:
1. Ben and Leslie, Parks and Recreation (NBC)
2. Mitchell and Cameron, Modern Family (ABC)
3. Elena and Damon, The Vampire Diaries (CW)
4. Matthew and Mary, Downton Abbey (PBS)
5. Sheldon and Amy, The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
WINNER: Thank goodness for Christmas Specials! Matthew and Mary, the British Ross-and-Rachel (only way classier) finally got together! And I want no comments about the Elena and Damon nomination. I’m a Delena. Get over it.
Worst Couple
When these two are together, something just doesn’t feel right. If/when they break up, you think you’ll get over it pretty fast. It’s not us, it’s them. The nominees are:
1. Sam and Mercedes, Glee (Fox)
2. Anne and Tom, Parks and Recreation (NBC)
3. Tyler and Ashley, Revenge (ABC)
4. Aria and Ezra, Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)
5. Jeremy and Bonnie, The Vampire Diaries (CW)
WINNER: Most of these were chosen due to underdevelopment from the writers, or genuine lack of chemistry from the actors. But the winners (Aria and Ezra) were chosen for a different reason altogether. These two have been together – almost completely continuously – since the first episode of the show. This is wonderful for a real-life couple. But on TV? Boring! Worst couple for sure.
Villain You Feel Bad About Loving
We’re supposed to hate these guys, even root against them. But for some reason, we just love how these bad seeds roll. You guys can take me hostage anytime. The nominees are:
1. Klaus, The Vampire Diaries (CW)
2. Victoria Grayson, Revenge (ABC)
3. Chloe, Don’t Trust the B in Apt 23 (ABC)
4. Regina/ The Evil Queen, Once Upon a Time (ABC)
5. Kim Jung Il – 30 Rock (NBC)
WINNER: I think this is pretty obvious, but it can’t have gone unnoticed that “30 Rock” managed to make the death of the famed dictator of North Korea a hilarious pawn in Jack Donaghy’s marital troubles. I was actually sad when “the world’s best waiter” realized he had to let Avery go. Stay cool Kimmy.
Formerly Good Show That Most Needs to Die
Everything is born, lives, and then dies. Some things hang on too damn long. Here are some examples. The nominees are:
1. How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
2. The Office (NBC)
3. Glee (Fox)
4. Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
5. Bones (Fox)
WINNER: This was a very difficult category. I mean, everyone knows that babies are bad for primetime (Bones), but the most significant fall has been “The Office.” Remember when you were brilliant? I do. Please leave now before this gets embarrassing. And kill off Andy.