Everyone knows that dating is a time commitment. So is being a college student. But if you’re passionate about school and in a loving, steadfast relationship, both school and spending time with your partner can be very worth your while, and understandably high up on your priorities list. You know that as a responsible college student you need to do all you can to make the most of your college experience, whether it means immersing yourself in extracurricular activities, playing sports, studying hard for your classes, or engaging in student life on campus. However, it’s also very natural (and important!) to want to spend time with your partner and take advantage of the college setting to do so at your leisure.
This begets the eternal question: WHERE DO I GET MORE TIME?
Because Time-Turners don’t really work (which I only discovered after spending over 100 dollars on a limited-edition gold-plated extra super duper special collectible one) (leave me alone I was 12), it’s very important to have full control over all hours of your day, without being too obsessive about time. The most basic way to do this is be on top of your homework. Spending time with your partner can be a challenge when you still have a three page paper and fifty page reading looming over you—you’ll inevitably be distracted and your mind will keep wandering to everything you haven’t done. If you have a hard time sitting down and doing homework too far in advance, try working for 15 to 20 minutes on a few of your assignments. You’ll be surprised to find how much of a dent in your homework that will make, and who knows, once you get going you could be inspired to finish the rest!
Scheduling a set time to hang out with your partner is another effective way to balance your time commitments with dating. Compare your schedule with your partners’ and find a common time on the weekends, once a week, or once every other week that you completely devote to hanging out with your special someone. This technique is a good way to be fully attentive to school and your extracurriculars on the days you know you won’t see your partner, but also a great way to keep busy and motivate yourself until the next time you do. If you’re unable to find the same time-slot in your schedule every week, figure out how many times that week you want to see each other and plan your hangouts based on that. The most important rule of this time-management method is to be flexible. It’s college—you never know what will come up for either one of you. You should always be comfortable with the prospect of cancellations and delays, and if those things do happen to occur it’s not the end of the world! Let your love carry you through to the next time you see each other, which will come so much faster than you think.
Remember, even though you’re a team, you and your partner are different people and it’s important for each one of you to get as involved as possible with the things you individually love to do. Unwanted resentment can arise if you start scheduling around each other. Just because your partner may not have class on Monday doesn’t mean you should avoid joining the debate team because it meets on Mondays. If you’re both equally committed to the relationship, you will find the time even if you don’t have the power to actively create it. It’s also important to remember that your partner has his or her own friends too, and not every single free moment can and should be devoted solely to you. The happier you and your partner are in your own environments, the more likely your relationship is to thrive when you’re together.
That being said, making sacrifices is an important part of dating, and there are times where giving up something in your own day for the sake of your partner is a perfectly valid thing to do. If it seems like your significant other is having a bad day and just needs a hug, there’s nothing wrong with canceling your Friday night plans and spending some time together. It’s all about finding that perfect balance!
Each relationship is different, but there’s no denying that the happiest couples are the ones who function separately just as well as they function together. So don’t be afraid to take on all the commitments of love and combine them with all the commitments of college. Who knows, it could be very worth it in the end.