3 (Badly) Reviewed Romantic Comedies

Are you single and too lazy to mingle? Do you want to spend your weekend in bed, eating a pint of ice cream while you binge watch a rom-com? Well, I’m here to ruin those lovely romantic comedies for you. Or I’m going to try, at least, because rom-coms are pretty amazing. 

1. Hitch

There’s a really attractive girl, Allegra, there’s a not-so-attractive guy, Albert. Albert is in love with Allegra, and Allegra totally doesn’t notice him. So Albert goes to Hitch *roll credits* (am I allowed to do that here?) and seeks help. Hitch, or Alex Hitchens, is a “dating consultant.”  Before you judge Alex, let me tell you that he’s a great guy and only helps genuine guys who want to have long-term relationships with women but don’t know how to initiate this. Also, he’s played by Will Smith and everyone knows he’s husband goals. In other words, listen to Hitch because that man knows what he’s talking about. Getting back to the story, Hitch encourages Albert to be himself and boosts his confidence to woo Allegra (the attractive girl). But wait, what’s the point of having two guys in a rom-com if there’s no love interest for one of them? Enter Sara, who is a workaholic journalist. She is as good at playing hard to get as Hitch is with his dating advice. No, that was a lie; Hitch is better because she ends up falling for him. Every love story has a villain and we have two here, so how can we forget Vance, who tries to use Hitch to hook up with Casey (who unfortunately for Hitch is best friends with Sara). When Hitch refuses, he still fools Casey into sleeping with him and then says Hitch helped him get her. So obviously, both the leading ladies are now really mad at the men and need to be pacified. Hitch manages to do that in an elaborate climax and Allegra gets married to Albert. Sara and Hitch also start dating again. 

What’s good: The movie has some really great comedic scenes. Albert is extremely weird, but in the most endearing way possible. He is a smart guy but doesn’t know how to deal with women and that’s where most of the comedy in the movie comes from, but they never put Albert down. 

What’s not good: Let me get back to you on that. 

2. 10 Things I Hate About You

Here we go, more attractive people, but surprisingly, Joseph Gordon Levitt isn't one of them. Cameron, played by Levitt, is the new student in this circus of a school and instantly falls for Bianca, the insanely popular, beautiful sophomore. However, like his extremely helpful sidekick friend points out to him, Bianca is not allowed to date. Her father, a gynecologist, is deadly afraid that his daughters are going to come home pregnant. So who is this other daughter? It’s none other than extremely feminist, super badass Kat (Julia Stiles). Luckily for the dad, he doesn't have to worry about Kat because…well because she has standards. Bianca wants to date Joey, the apparently very handsome senior/model. After Bianca pesters him with requests and arguments to be allowed to date, her father very smartly makes a new rule that Bianca can date when Kat dates someone. Bianca gives up on her dating dreams, but sweet little Cameron doesn’t. So he finds Patrick (played by Heath Ledger) to go out with Kat. Patrick is the school’s badass and apparently a criminal of some sort who is going to steal every teenage girl’s heart. Bianca is A-okay with this idea because she wants to use Cameron and go out with Joey. However, like all great things, Patrick comes at a price. So, Cameron involves Joey so that he can pay Patrick. To recap, Bianca is playing Cameron to go out with Joey, Cameron is playing Joey to pay Patrick to go out with Kat, Patrick is playing Kat to get paid by two nitwit sophomores. Poor naive Kat. Anyway, Patrick slowly but surely manages to impress Kat and much to the gyno’s horror, starts dating him. Obviously, Kat finds out about this entire plan, but not until after Cameron and Bianca get together and Patrick falls in love with Kat. 

What’s good: Heath Ledger as Patrick. Kat is also an amazingly strong feminist and stands up for herself. It is so refreshing to see her in the movie, especially when you find out that the movie was made in 1999. 

What’s not good: It got really confusing for me when I was writing the plot, with all the names and people playing each other. 

3. The Proposal

Margaret (Sandra Bullock) is a stuck up editor that everyone really hates. And fears. Well, I guess that’s what happens when a woman is powerful and in control. No one, however, hates her more than Andrew (Ryan Reynolds), her assistant. Margaret finds out that she is being deported back to Canada, where she is from, as she goes to Frankfurt while her visa is still being processed to figure out a book deal (how professional of her), and in a desperate fit, tells her bosses that her and Andrew are engaged to be married. She then finds herself in Alaska, meeting Andrew’s family for his grandmother’s 90th birthday and talking of their marriage. That is, after she has to bury her ego and propose to Andrew. And Andrew, who is promised a book deal, takes her to the family home where Margaret not only finds herself falling for her assistant, but also loving the family she finds for herself. Andrew not only has to deal with his disapproving father and his ex-fiancé and the feelings they might possibly have, but also sees his heartless editor become more human. Everyone is falling for everyone (not really, just the two leads), and there’s a really funny scene where Sandra Bullock sings in the middle of a forest for the grandma as a part of some ritual. But just as you think that everything is good, Margaret has a change of heart. When the immigration officer comes over to watch the big day, Margaret realizes that she doesn’t want to fool Andrew’s family that she has fallen in love with. She calls the marriage off and gets ready to go back to Canada. But what’s a love story without a happy ending? Andrew goes back to the office for her just as she’s leaving and tells her that he does love her.

What’s good: Every. Single. Thing. (Seriously, try to say something bad about this movie and I will fight you.)

What’s not good: Betty White isn’t my grandmother.