I have something that I need to say. There seems to be a fake sense of pride in Eckerd College. Now, before you go all “but our basketball team is awesome this year” on me, hear me out. I’m not implying that Eckerd Students don’t love this beautiful campus, because I think they do. Deep down inside, I think they really do. What I’m talking about is wearing these ratty Eckerd College sweatshirts and pretending that you care.
Let’s be honest for a second. When you’re puking off the Omega 206 balcony, you don’t have pride in this campus. When you’re smashing glass bottles in the Nu parking lot, you don’t have pride in this campus. When you’re breaking the Alpha common room windows and then running away, you don’t have pride in this campus. You just don’t. So come Monday morning when you throw on your Eckerd College sweatshirt in a hurry because you’re late to Western Heritage in a Global Context, and you think to yourself “This is good enough,” it really isn’t. I can see through your fake pride.
This is sounding too preachy. But when it comes down to it, stylistically a hooded sweatshirt is dreadful. You look sloppy, dirty and tired as soon as you pull it over your head. In all honesty, when is the last time you washed that thing? For some reason it seems like people don’t feel the need to wash their sweatshirts. Maybe because you only wear them for part of the day or maybe because they go on over your t-shirt, but they are still getting dirty. And that shows. And that’s gross.
Look, I understand you bought your sweatshirt when you visited Eckerd back in the day, but it’s high time we let high school fads be high school fads, and move on. And for those of you wearing college sweatshirts that aren’t even Eckerd sweatshirts: give me a break! You didn’t go to Harvard. You probably didn’t even make it into Harvard. Stop wearing a Harvard sweatshirt. You just look like a fool.