I have something that I need to say. Look, I understand that it’s Eckerd, and we’re all “barefoot and brainy” or whatever, but that doesn’t excuse you for looking like a slob. I’m talking about the faded tie-dye look. It’s getting old, and quite frankly needs to be ended immediately. I can’t stand it anymore.
So you’ve got yourself an old ratty t-shirt. It’s probably one you got for free at one of the plethora of Eckerd events that seem to think college students yearn for free white t-shirts, but there it is, sitting in your dresser and you think that throwing some colors on it in a semi-artistic way makes it look better. It doesn’t.
It’s kind of like that time your grandmother was making cookies and she didn’t have any baking powder so she just didn’t use any. It doesn’t work that way. You need baking powder to make cookies and you need an artistic eye and suitable dye to make a good looking tie-dye shirt. The tempera paint that your Iota RA found on sale for $2.99 at Michael’s won’t cut it.
There’s an art to tie-dying. I’m not saying that it’s ever acceptable (because, in all honesty, it isn’t.) This isn’t the 70’s, but it also isn’t the real world quite yet, so I’ll let you have your tie-dye if you promise to not wear it when it’s faded. Or when all the colors run together and it’s half yellow, half brown (did you never take an art class? Primary colors, people. Look it up.). Or when it’s from your Explore Eckerd weekend circa 2008 and you’ve gained the freshman 30 since then. That ship has sailed.
All I’m asking is that you put some thought into your outfits. Even if you think you’re not making a statement, you’re making a statement. When I see people wearing these faded, ratty tie-dyed shirts I think to myself, “That person woke up this morning, put that on and thought ‘This works. I’m ready for the day.’” There’s nothing new or interesting about tie-dye. It’s not a flattering or intricate design. So, if you’re going to wear it, at least try to wear good tie-dye, and not something that just looks stained. Because, I’m telling you, it just looks stained. Trust me.