As January draws to a close, we look back on some of the New Year’s resolutions that we should have made. And if you didn’t, well, it’s never too late…
Take up a new sport
And that doesn’t include ‘how many custard creams can I consume in a minute’. Considering the number of joggers spotted sprinting down the streets of Durham, it’s about time you put on your trainers and set off yourself. Or do you not even own any appropriate footwear?
Get a Coffee Card
Both Starbucks and Costa now do their own club cards and now that summative season has hit, you’re most likely going to be making a lot more trips there. Collecting your points means you’ll eventually get your free coffee…there’s a lot of caffeine to consume first though.
You’re a student, student loans are far from satisfactory, and your debit card practically screams at you every time you put it into a cash machine. We know it’s tempting to buy a new dress for every formal, to fill your wardrobe with newbies that are apparently ‘necessities’, jumpers, scarves, boots, but it’s painful on the purse and you’re already close to your overdraft limit.
Realise you don’t need no man
‘Boys Stink’ was the motto you had throughout primary school and why should it ever have changed? Boys do stink and you’re an independent woman. That means you’re capable of watching movies without an annoying arm constantly touching you, you can eat and look like a pig all day and there’s nobody judging and you can actually dance to Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ with dignity and pride, (unlike all those other lying cheats of girls who think it’s ok to join in with the song when they’re entirely taken, out of order, unavailable).
Stop being a drunken fast food fanatic
Drunken you loves nothing but a big fat greasy pizza to end a night of wine and vodka. The smell wafting from Urban Oven is oh so appealing on your walk home and with the current cold climate all you want is to wrap your fingers around a box of steaming cheesy chips. But you wake up the next morning with the empty box on the floor and the grease seeping through the cardboard and you know it was a mistake. You spend the next day feeling guilty and telling yourself you can’t eat. Why not just stop?
Draw a list of everyone that was mean to you last year. Seek Revenge.
There’s got to be someone that made your 2014 hell on earth and it’s about time they paid for it. Did someone give you the wrong essay deadline? Throw a drink over you in Klute? Puke on you in Klute? Or even urinated on you in Klute? (Yep…this has all happened). Make them aware, egg them, set them up with a blind date that doesn’t exist, catfish them (gotta keep the MTV show going somehow), or even worse, delete them off facebook.
Stop committing social suicide
So you were eating alone in the library and you spilt your salad all down you. You fell up the stairs in the lecture theatre, your top fell down on the dancefloor and your skirt was tucked in your knickers. Are you always that person? Take a bit more time in everything you do and maybe find someone to keep an eye on you. You just can’t be let out alone.
Invest in a selfie stick
It’s the new rage and Santa didn’t put one in your stocking, which was tragic, but you’re starting to get over it. Anyway, the selfie craze isn’t over and you want to be an expert. A selfie stick will do the trick.
Sometimes you’ve just got to burst into ‘I am the one and only’, dance around your bedroom and tell yourself in the mirror that you were basically born a star. University can be intense and if you don’t keep positive you’ll find yourself on a downhill rollercoaster, moving closer and closer towards some sort of black hole.
So…at least keep these for February.