After scrolling through a long list of videos related to the 2016 BAFTAs, I came across an interview with Kate Winslet which really made me think and reevaluate my outlook. In the interview, Winslet expressed how her drama teacher had rather brutally suggested that she “might do ok” if she was willing to settle for the “fat girl parts”. She implores all young women who have ever been put down by anyone, to not listen to any of it and keep going…
Hmm…I know we’ve all heard it before but I think this is the kind of thing we could have on repeat every single day for the rest of our lives and still not take in. There’s a difference between saying or hearing something, and actually living it.
The pursuit of success and the perseverance it requires is one of the most bombarding topics of social media. There isn’t a day goes by without us hearing a new interview, another success story, another quote, another song, another movie, ALL of them focussed on this one concept of working through failures and coming up against people who don’t believe in you.
Why then are so many of us victims of being made to feel inferior? Why do so many people give up trying after what they think is one failure to many? Why do we settle for circumstances because we don’t think we deserve any better? And why do countless people’s confidences suffer under the crushing, demoralizing words of others, be it teachers, so called ‘friends’, even parents?
So yes, I’m not getting into anything new here and you might find this article cliché but maybe some things are so important that they need to be a bit like a broken record in order for us to fully appreciate their worth.
I myself, like everyone else on this planet, have felt the spiteful sting of cynicism and negativity from others with regards to my ambitions or desires. Despite the oh-so-common saying ‘Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me’, it seems that when comments (like the one from Winslet’s drama teacher) come from people you admire and look up to, or who you consider your friends, they possess the power to crumble your determination and extinguish the fire of your passion.
We can scroll through our Instagram feeds searching for #motivationalquotes #success #hatersgonnahate all we want, but the fact is, we need to live it. Whoever is chipping away at your confidence and in whatever way they are doing it, you have to come to a place inside your head where it cannot touch you. This doesn’t mean becoming hard and isolating yourself, it doesn’t mean retaliating with the same spite you are receiving; believe it or not, this is nothing to do with anyone but YOU.
There is no quick fix or easy way to deal with anything, but a key ingredient for success is faith. If you don’t believe in yourself with all your heart, of course the negative comments will bring you down and make you want to give up, obviously the knock-backs and rejections are going to cause you to feel inefficient and worthless!
Nobody can make you have faith in yourself and nobody can make you see just how special your ambitions and dreams are. But the fact is that your passions were given to you for a reason. Nothing is handed to you on a plate and all great things have to be fought for. You have to fight for yourself because no one else is going to do it for you, and everyone is in their own personal battle against the elements of this world that seem to batter our confidence to the ground (even your haters have their own wars to win).
I write this article for every student out there struggling with their confidence, for every young person who feels like getting up in the morning and trying again seems as hopeless as counting grains of sand.You can feel utterly desperate and completely alone when dealing with the negativity life throws at you, whether its through other people’s comments, your circumstances or even a lack of opportunity to prove your worth, BUT…something to bear in mind – the mountain does not bow to the wind.
I’m not going to tell you “be more resilient” “toughen up” “let the comments bounce off you” because they won’t ever not sting…we’re not emotionless robots. But I will say this – You have to work through a lot before you reach your final destination, and the steeper the climb, the higher the peak. Keep going and wear your dreams like armour because they will keep you fighting strong.