With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, there will be many people in Durham missing their long-distance partners this weekend. Luckily for Katie, an English student at Durham, her boyfriend of around two and a half years, Brad, goes to uni just down the road at Newcastle! However, I wanted to know whether, despite being in two neighbouring cities, being apart the majority of the time has had an effect on their relationship and whether it has affected their Valentine’s Day plans.
It seems that the best way to making any relationship with someone in a different city work is just putting the effort in. Katie says that her and Brad manage to see each other roughly ever weekend but admittedly, when their workloads are heavy, every other week has to suffice. From seeing each other at least five days a week at school, being at two different unis was harder than they expected in first year – a busy schedule making new friends, getting involved with societies and getting to grips with your subject is bound to take its toll on any relationship, no matter how stable. Although Katie said being apart as freshers in different cities was a big test of trust for her and Brad, she’s come to the conclusion now that not being at uni together has made her more independent and a more trusting partner.
When couples do see each other, it’s important that they make the most of it and remind each other why it’s worth staying together when they’re spending time with other people the majority of the time. Katie admits that she is very lucky she has such a romantic boyfriend who, unlike lots of boys, remembers things like her favourite type of flowers! She thinks it’s really important to try and reciprocate the thoughtful gestures he makes, which is why she has recently made him a travel scrapbook of their time in Amsterdam together, to remind him of her when they’re apart.
The best thing about going to Durham but having a boyfriend in Newcastle is, in Katie’s opinion, having the opportunity to do really cute day time things together like visit tea rooms and walk around the Cathedral some weekends but also being able to go on more glamorous evening dates in the many bars and restaurants that Newcastle offers. The Botanist is a particular favourite! When I asked Katie what her plans for this Valentine’s Day were, she said that her and Brad have planned to spend the weekend together in Newcastle. After making pancakes together they’re going to get the metro to Tynemouth, a coastal town in Newcastle. Katie told me, “Tynemouth’s become a special place for us to visit together; we went there on Valentine’s Day last year then again on both of our 20th birthdays. We’ll probably have a picnic on the beach and then go for a stroll by the sea – I’m going to try to remember to wrap up warm as it’s always so cold every time we go!” It seems like doing thoughtful things that mean a lot to both partners is the way to go when keeping a relationship across two cities alive.
Despite making these plans for Valentine’s Day, Katie makes it clear she really isn’t into the consumer side of the day. She thinks that the unnecessary pressure it puts on people in relationships as well as single people, can be really destructive and the most important thing is just to make the small amount of effort to see your loved ones and spend time with them, whether that be your family, friends or significant other.
For people with partners living further away than Newcastle, her best advice is to enjoy planning specific dates you’ll spend together but other than that, do your best to make the most of the time you spend apart. So make sure you take up new hobbies, make lots of friends and you’ll find yourself so busy your next visit will come around in no time!
Happy Valentine’s Day!