Do you ever watch First Dates and shudder at the prospect? The charade of messages we get from the media telling us that there is an inevitability in our failure to find ‘true love’ is really quite depressing. Especially when the thought of ending up alone is more real now than ever before (for the first time in 2015 the ONS recorded that over half of the adult population were single). Bearing this in mind, does our anxiety of being single for longer than we would like, play into how we dress? If style is such an easy thing to change in order to gain a shared taste, do we seek security by matching the style of our current/ potential partners?
At the start of any relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic, we want approval. Romantically, almost always, the first indication of that is aesthetic. Preconceived notions and stereotypes form the foundations of how we react to a person’s appearance- e.g. if someone is dressed smartly and is well-kept, you immediately perceive them as more intelligent. So it follows that we dress to create a persona; something that can be relatable and appealing for whoever we’re trying to attract. You could say that this was subconscious, something we do naturally in a form of flattery but more often that not, we deliberately choose to match.
Take Kim K. She has gone from noughties trash to front row staple in terms of style, all due to the overhaul of her wardrobe circa Kanye West coming into her life. Or Cheryl Fernandez Versini, who has evolved from the shiny, tight WAG look when she was with Ashley Cole; to polished elegance with her ex Jean; and now to a slick, sportier look with Liam Payne.
However, this doesn’t just happen with our partners and this isn’t meant to sound as though women solely try to appease men with their looks. Rather, it happens in any social situation. For example, uni- at first, a place where we are at our most vulnerable. The thought of having to walk into a room without knowing anyone is obviously daunting. So, we naturally protect our self-esteem by dressing a certain way to attract the kind of social circle we want to be in. That said, there seems to be a definite code of acceptance in Durham: Adidas trainers and puffa jackets. Seen in any lecture theatre, the generic look acts like a uniform, particularly in first year. Bizarrely, a lot of us wouldn’t even dress like this at home- we use home to express our individuality, and uni as a place to lose any worries we have of being judged on appearance by dressing in the mainstream ideal.
This leaves the question, whether we should be ashamed of this reluctance to stand out or appear different- absolutely not. Seeking security, in any sort of relationship, with any available mechanism is innate to our sense of belonging. Regardless of whether this is buying a pair of Vans to match our partner or buying a pair of Adidas to match the rest of the lecture hall, we simply want to form some kind of mutuality.
I am one of the generic Adidas wearers.