Being a second-year English Literature student at Durham has taught me a few things about my degree. Mainly, that the small amount of contact hours and huge amount of reading can very much lead to idleness and procrastination- but who said this is necessarily a bad thing? As William Shakespeare (probably) said; ‘Time thou enjoy wasting is not wasted time.’ Along with procrastination, putting off essays and being swamped with reading, here are my 15 ways you know you’re an English Literature student:
1) Spark Notes becomes your best friend. Think you’re supposed to have left trusty spark notes behind in Year 10? Think again. Sure, it’s not exactly referenceable in your summative, but if you haven’t had time to read the book before the tutorial, Spark Notes has you covered.
2) You tend to watch the film version before you’ve read the actual book. This might just me being lazy, but who really has the time to read the complete works of William Shakespeare? Plus any excuse to watch Leonardo Dicaprio in Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet.
3) On average you only read about 40% of the ‘primary’ texts on your reading list- they’re only primary if I choose to write an essay on them.
4) Constantly moaning about your puny amount of contact hours to your friends doing Science or Economics degrees.
5) The Starbucks on Old Elvet becomes your new work station, purely because of its convenient location to Elvet Riverside, and the ready supply of caffeine on hand. Who’s got the time to walk to Billy B?
6) The vast amounts of your student loan spent on the ridiculously long reading lists handed out every year.
7) Complaining about the time and effort carrying said books (especially the Norton Anthologies) to and from the library, Starbucks and tutorials.
8) Creasing the spine of an unopened book the night before a tutorial, just so your tutor will absolutely think you have read it. (This might just be me, but you’re welcome for the tip anyway).
9) Forming an irrational hatred for that one person in your seminar that ALWAYS reads the book- and without doubt has some unique and long-winded opinion to bless the rest of the group with.
10) You’ve fallen in love with the velvet tones of Professor Michael O’ Neil’s voice as he reads poetry in lectures, despite not understanding one jot of metaphysical poetry.
11) Because of the tiny amount of contact hours, English students are probably the best at procrastinating. As we speak I’m putting off writing an essay by writing this article. Oh and another thing- watching all five seasons of American Horror Story in a week is an easily accomplishable task.
12) Remembering the lost days of your youth when you read a book ‘just for fun’.
13) Everyone asks if you want become either a journalist or an English teacher after you’ve graduated. Those are your only options.
14) You were bitterly disappointed by the ugliness of Durham’s English Department on your open day, having previously been shown around the old, beautiful English Departments of Cambridge, Bristol and Oxford.
15) However, you sit smug in your knowledge that Durham is ranked top for English Literature in the UK. Oxbridge who?