So I’ve been dating a guy for six months. Me! The same Her Campus contributor who wrote the book on being single and loving it. The same girl who thought she’d never end up dating at Duke. And then something funny happened.
I found the missing piece to my heart container.
For all you non-Legend of Zelda folks out there, a heart container is something that, when whole, gives you life energy. Fills you with the possibility of adventure. Let’s you know that no matter how far you get from home, as long as it remains full, everything will be fine.
Until I met Tom, I had a piece missing from my heart container. And I didn’t even know it.
Let me be real for a sec. No gimmicks or embellishments. I found someone really incredible at Duke, someone who makes me smile and dance random jigs of elation. That rare item seldom found, even with a walk-through guide.
At first, I have to admit I was nervous to start dating him. In the past, I’d been burned too many times to count. I had a suspicion he’d be the one to actually treat me right. That sounds silly, doesn’t it? To be nervous at having a real relationship. But I had a gut feeling he would be someone with whom I could really share myself, and that kind of vulnerability scared me.
Don’t worry, I won’t bombard you with getting overly mushy here. I’m a romantic, but there is such a thing as too much sugar. And this article is already on the sweet side.
As both a six-month present to him and a chance to help you find your missing heart piece, collegiettes, I’m going to impart a couple of wisdom nuggets to you. Call me your own personal Navi if you will (only I won’t be as annoying!)
♥ Let being with the person feel as easy as breathing. I’m not saying a relationship doesn’t ever require work, but you shouldn’t have to change who you are for someone else, either. Be yourself. Go swimming. Fly a kite. Inhale the fresh air of a North Carolina fall. And know there will be someone out there who will want to share those things with you, just as is. Easy as breathing.
♥ Remember to be honest and caring. That’s what you’ll receive in return. Revolutionary concept, I know. But you’d be surprised how many people get caught up in telling little white lies to appease someone or indulging in overly selfish behavior. Someone once told me “you should never have to compromise in a relationship.” No offense to that person, but a little understanding goes a long way. If your boyfriend is having a “hell” week with a project and a midterm, and he’s sick on top of that, cut the poor guy some slack if he can’t squeeze in a date. Let each other be human. You’ll make it up to each other at a later time, promise.
♥ Live in the moment. Too many couples become burdened with far-off future things. Just know if you are happy with the way things currently are and if you have a vague and general idea to stay together for the foreseeable future, then that’s enough for the relationship to survive. Puh-lease do not think years in advance. That’s when the crazy starts talking.
♥ Respect each other’s interests. Now I’m not saying this just because I, like most guys, share a love for video games. Respect his N64 time. Or his Patriots time. Or his deep-sea fishing time. Guys need to relax too! Or better yet, grab a controller or pigskin and join him. Sharing things with you definitely makes these activities more fun for him. Also, be aware that just like we need girl time, guys need their bro time. Bro time is sacred.
♥ Laugh. Don’t be afraid to laugh at everything. Movies, each other, stress, the weird habits your roommate has. My boyfriend enjoys watching internet videos of “trolling” that poke fun at the inconsistencies of argument. But that kind of attitude takes so much weight out of my day. I feel lighter and happier just thinking about it. Laughter releases serotonin, endorphins, and other feel-good brain-vibe type things. And I’m pretty sure that’s more restoring than even grandma’s soup, which you can conveniently bottle and swallow before a big battle.
♥ Know you’ll be there to save each other from the monsters. The best thing about being in a relationship is that you don’t always have to be super strong and infallible every day/ all the time/ for all eternity. (What are we, Gorons?) You have another person there to help you fight the monsters when this world level has sapped your energy to a dangerously low level. And that’s okay. Take that chu jelly and make a health-potion out of it. Let yourselves be each other’s heroes. There’s always the next game to test your growing strength.
That’s the bulk of the article. Like any respectable video-gamer, you will now probably skip the credits. But I wanted to end this article by wishing a happy six months to my legendary hero and a good luck to you, collegiettes.
I appreciate you all <3