Rush is an extremely stressful time for everyone. You will spend a lot of time and possibly a lot of pride if you try to impress social groups, so spend these things wisely. The single most important advice concerning the rush process is to not be pressured into joining a group you don’t truly like, but that you think is “cool.” The true purpose of rush and joining a social group, though it often is forgotten or distorted, is to find a core friend group. That is all.
If you want a sisterhood, then join a sorority. If you want a brotherhood, join a fraternity. And if you want a messy conglomerate of brothers and sisters, join an SLG. Though being a part of a group does open up opportunities for exclusive invites to social activities, this shouldn’t be the sole motivation of joining a social group. Don’t join one sorority or SLG because they throw the wildest ragers or attract the best-looking guys.
If you end up joining a social group for these kinds of reasons alone, you’ll end up socializing and having those wild ragers that you thought you wanted with people you don’t actually like, when you could instead be socializing and partying (albeit your parties may not be as crazy) with people you do actually like.
All throughout middle and high school I wanted to be in a sorority. My mother had been a sorority during her college years, and whenever she spoke fondly of her friends of yore, it would be of the ladies of Delta Phi Epsilon at the University of Florida.
However, after I got to campus I began to feel uneasy about sororities. I remember during the early stages of the rush process I saw all of the rushees dressed in matching clothes- dark jeans, boots, a nice preppy shirt and jacket. Something about that bothered me. I liked my mild-hipster flair and didn’t like being told what to wear. I didn’t like what I considered the “rigid” structure of the entire process either- I just wanted to meet cool people. I also didn’t want to give up “bro-time” with my guy friends. So I didn’t rush.
Instead, I remained in my dorm during all the sorority rush events and was virtually the only girl there. During that time I solidified relationships with my closest guy friends of today. But I wanted to join something myself. So I looked into SLGs.
I liked that many of the SLG events I went to were super casual and that the sole criterion for admittance was that you just had to be liked by the current members of the SLG. That was the easiest thing in the world. If I really liked them, that most likely meant they really liked me. All there was to it.
At the end of the day I ended up joining the Mirecourt SLG, because I found that its current members and rushees were the kind of people I got along with best, and with whom I could see myself becoming good friends. Mirecourt doesn’t throw the same type of crazy mixers that many in Greek life throw all the time. I admit that sometimes I do feel like I’m missing out. I wonder if it would be easier for me to meet guys to date if I were in a sorority. But at the end of the day, I still unquestionably prefer Mirecourt’s more intimate, impromptu kickbacks on the weekend to any crowded party. I’d rather chill on a couch all night with a few close, true friends, then rage into the morning with people who don’t mean much to me.
I’m not saying everyone should abandon Greek life and only go for SLGs instead. I’m just saying in my case it was the right thing to do. If you find you really click with a certain group of sorority girls, or that you really love the way they structure and plan fun events or volunteering activities, then by all means, join that sorority. If you truly do click with them, then they should truly click with you in turn, and you shouldn’t have a problem getting into their social group.
Just don’t join a sorority or an SLG for the wrong reasons. Join to find friends, not for the rungs in some invisible social ladder you intend to climb. Also, if possible, plan to be in just a sorority or just an SLG. I am always confused when I encounter individuals in several SLGs or both SLGs and a sorority. You can’t have over 100 close friends, only over 100 acquaintances with whom you divide your time between, and who have less value than if you had just one close friend. Most people who do this do end up sticking with just one of their social groups in the end, though they would have saved a lot of time and awkwardness if they had made that decision in the first place.
Above all, join a social group because you want to, not because you think you should and everyone else is doing it. The people in these social groups will likely become the people you’ll spend the majority of your time with for the rest of college, so choose wisely. And once you choose, immerse yourself in that camaraderie, and spread the love ;)