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Pick-Up Artists

 

I want to talk about something that I’ve encountered a couple times so far at Duke that just really baffles me: Pick-up Artistry.

Last year, while walking to the elevator at the bottom floor of McLendon, I heard loud running steps behind me. Immediately and out of breath, a lanky Asian boy in a V-neck went in to shake my hand. Kind of confused, and not wanting to be rude, I said ‘Hi.’ He asked me my major and it turns out we have the same one, English. It also turned out that we were in the same class. He told me I was pretty… to which I responded ‘thank you,’ uncomfortably. He then told me that he is a poetic genius, and because he was sure I wasn’t and that I must be intimidated by his genius, he wouldn’t mind tutoring me. Ironically, he ended up failing the class due to absences.

Thanks to my interest in silly reality television, I’m aware of a show that ran two seasons in 2007 and 2008 called The Pick-Up Artist. The Pick-Up Artist TV show was comprised of a main character, named “Mystery,” who taught awkward men how to pick up women in bars. “Mystery,” whose name I refuse to not put in quotations, had long hair and insisted on wearing variations of Abraham Lincoln hats. However, he had so much “game” that even in his unattractive physical state he could attract any woman…. right…

See below where he is even equipped with binoculars to scope out girls:

 

 

 

….right.

Though the Pick-Up Artist TV show only lasted two years, the pick-up artist, or PUA community is still thriving online. Through PUA forums, like this one, aspiring PUAs can carry on attempting to seduce women.

One of the more popular PUA techniques is called NLP. NLP is comprised of three steps:

  1. compliment girl
  2. insult girl
  3. console girl

Please take note of #2. I’m assuming this is what the V-neck clad boy was attempting with his “I’m a genius” comment.

What a brilliant idea, though—insulting Duke girls, especially on intelligence.

Dear Duke dudes (alliteration…. Suck on that, V-neck.),

Duke girls know they’re smart—they’ve been assured of such when they received their acceptance letter to a top 10…excuse me, top 8 university. Duke girls are biomedical engineers, presidents of clubs, and eloquent speakers. They’ve travelled and they’ve read.

We’re not here for our MRS degrees, and we don’t want to be told you’ll take care of us. If you’re trying to pick-up, try somewhere else.

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