This weekend I took the time to watch the American chick flick classic “Clueless”. I anxiously cheered on the budding attraction between the characters played by Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd, but when I celebrated their long-awaited kiss during the finale, my jubilation come to a screeching halt.
In that moment, it hit me: this crazy fool just fell in her love with her stepbrother! And I, just as much of a crazy fool, supported, nay, encouraged the unholy union. Now, I know they’re not related by blood, so technically there is nothing incestuous or icky about the relationship. Yet, my reaction got me thinking why so many people refuse to find romantic potential in their platonic friendships.
I’ve always believed that a best friend would be the perfect partner. Though I’ve never experienced this phenomenon, I imagine it would combine the comfort and ease of a platonic relationship with the physical perks of a romantic relationship. When I think back to the many times I’ve spotted a delicious man and thought to myself, “Gosh I wish we could be best friends,” I now realize it’s due to this reasoning. Ideally, once friends, we would become each other’s go-to for laughter and good times, encouragement, and support. And soon enough, he’d realize he’s madly in love with me and his deliciousness would be mine!
Though this is an idealized and (supposedly) unrealistic version of what I’m talking about, there are still many who could never see themselves in a relationship with a close friend. Some friends, no matter how close they are to you, simply are not relationship material. A popular argument is that the level of comfort inherent to a tight-knit friendship would prevent any romantic tension from developing. To these folks, getting down and dirty with a friend would feel as “wrong” as crossing the familial lines between Cher and Josh. Many also fear that if they pursue a romantic relationship, they would jeopardize a valued friendship. It certainly isn’t easy to revert back to a platonic friendship after introducing romance to the mix.
Though we might have ideals and expectations of our “perfect match,” love and attraction are often beyond our control. Often times, they seem to just happen. What might seem like a good fit on paper might not be so in actuality. So instead of crafting ideas about our perfect fit or setting restrictions for ourselves that may close us off to wonderful experiences, let’s keep an open mind. Mr. or Mrs. Right may be closer than we think.
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