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How To Become YOU

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Duke chapter.

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

-Marilyn Monroe

 

            You were made a unique individual. You were not made to fulfill someone else’s role or someone else’s lifestyle. Your purpose is your own, not meant to be a copy of someone elses. You can never become the individual you fully aspire to be if you are constantly trying to recreate the image of someone else.

            It’s hard to accept yourself and not want to be like other individuals. You are human for feeling that way. Every individual looks up to someone’s accomplishments and the lifestyle they have acquired. However, there is a difference between idolization and desire. If an individual idolizes someone, they look up to his or her lifestyle and range of accomplishments. The individual sees something he or she wants to accomplish and creates a plan of action to receive similar results. Desire is a want to be just like another. You desire to have and be everything an individual has become. Stop. That will never be the case because your story is different. You are different. Do you think you were made to be the carbon copy of someone else? If you do, you are sadly mistaken. You have purpose, it’s just a matter of discovering it.

            How do you learn to accept yourself and embrace your being? There is no specific answer. Ultimately it will be your own battle. Sure people, ideas, and events will help but you decide how outside help makes an impact. If anything, the main “step” is finding confidence within yourself. Confidence is learning to appreciate your flaws, perks, and sense of mind. A person who embraces every individual characteristic has a different outlook on life. The judgement, pressure, and self-pity begin to decrease because you learn to accept every trial that crosses your path. Becoming you.

            I think it’s harder for females because in specific areas there is more pressure present. Pressure to rise against oppression, gender roles, and false nature. Find the word female in the dictionary and the corresponding definition refers to a sex that can “bear offspring or produce eggs.” I know when I read the definition I laughed. Is the definition of a female truly just to produce eggs? A female is so much more. The nature of a female should not be limited to an individual that is simply made to nurture and produce. The pressure to develop a family and history of the general female role has influenced the way in which women accept themselves. These common stereotypes take a toll on an individual’s mindset and influence personality.

            Disprove the definition. Embrace your character and help show you are more than an individual who merely “produces eggs.” Start with confidence, begin to embrace your actions and see where that path takes you. Developing a sense of confidence will help your characteristics appear. Once your characteristics are recognized you can begin to become you. Learning to love yourself and resist outside judgements will help you observe your purpose and the potential you have to offer. Remember your potential is different from everyone else’s. You are who you are and it’s up to you to show your talents and abilities.

            Becoming YOU. At the end of the day recognize what matters most, not irrelevant, people, events, and places, but you. You are the most important because only you have the power to influence your surroundings and create a difference. However, if you are too caught up in the life of another, you are wasting opportunity. You are wasting your opportunity to truly expand on your own character and become an individual who is appreciative of herself. Love, confidence, and faith in the person you know you can be will ultimately influence your journey to become you.

            Love for all the accomplishments you have made. Confidence in your personality and the talents you have to offer. Faith that once you embrace your being and develop self-love and confidence, you will become you. You will be better than the individuals you once idolized because you will have learned how to replace a desire with individual action. Become you by unearthing a character and drive better than individuals you once aspired to be like. Become YOU by rising up against pressures and developing confidence in everything you do.

“Do not allow your character to waste because you have spent too much time trying to be like someone else”

-Naomi Lilly