We’ve all been there, asking ourselves what we believe is the most critical question of the night, one that’s turning your brain into mush with its severe case of indecision: Should I go out, or stay in? Images that support both avenues float in your head: the comfy and fluffy haven of your bed, the blacked out Shooters dance floor, the millions of pictures your friends will be taking, the possible hangover in the morning, the stress free feeling of getting all your work done that night, the 3am McDonalds visit that you really want to avoid, the good night’s sleep, the smoky-alcohol stench of clothing, the possibility of seeing that one cute guy from Stat lab, the tired-ness in your eyes, but the envy of watching your girlfriends getting ready, dancing to Katy Perry on full blast. So what to do… what to do?
Here are some well-known situations in which you find your mind in a stump. Read ahead for some tips on how to decide what you should do!
You’re Sick
You can’t stop sneezing, the tissue box has relocated to the side of your bed, and you’re starting to feel that uncomfortable itch in your throat. But that guy you’ve been eyeing for quite some time now texts you, asking when you’re heading to “so-and-so’s” pre-game. What do you do? Jacquie Schindler, sophomore, explained, “Unless I have to carry a tissue box around with me, I’m going out.” But on the other hand, if you absolutely think you’ll have a miserable time, then stay in! Rest up. Work up your flirty texting skills with the guy with beautiful eyes. Another idea is to go out, and not drink. This way, you can scratch out the possible hangover and still enjoy time with you friends (and cute boy). There’s absolutely nothing wrong with laying low for your health. Even though Phoebe Noe, junior, finds herself going out 3-4 nights a week, she stays back when she is in a musical, in order to stay healthy.
You’re Tired/Lazy/Have To Get Up Early
You’ve had a long week, and the thought of dancing around in heels makes you want to drop everything you’re doing and collapse on the ground beneath you. At the same time though, the stress of the week is begging you to let go and have some fun tonight! Caroline Rodriguez, junior, explained that while a typical reason for not going out would be exhaustion, a major reason why she goes out is to “de-stress” and spend time with friends. Think about what you might be missing out on. Put on some dance music and spend time with your friends trying on outfits. A lot of times, the party doesn’t start hopping until 10 or so, so why don’t you take a quick power nap? You could probably get in even a couple of hours if you’re super sleepy. This way, you’ll be refreshed to look AND feel your best!
You Have So Much Work
It’s piling up and you’re afraid if you don’t take a stab at the readings or studying, the sheer amount will be looming in your head while you’re trying to have a good time out on the town. In order to calm your beating heart, sit down, and make a schedule. Make a list of all the things you need to get done, and schedule out your whole weekend (or week, if Wednesday nights are your thing). What are you willing to give up to go out? Maybe having dinner with a friend could be substituted with reading for your Political Science class. If you can manage to focus and work for a couple of hours before you go out, and use the party as an appealing reward, DO IT. Either way, make a decision and stick with it. If you decide to go out, absolutely forget about the work, and if you decide to stay in, don’t end up watching re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy – actually sit down and hit the books.
You Don’t Know Many People Going
The beauty of going out is that you can tone up your “excuse” skills and go straight back home if you aren’t having a good time. Although flying solo to a party seems intimidating and scary, it’s a great chance to meet new people. If you are meshing with a group of people you don’t know well, you can develop and strengthen some friendships that you may have not been able to otherwise. It’s one more experience to add to the college bank. If it’s a bad one, there’s always the “paper” you forgot to write, or the desperate friend in need. Take a chance!
You’re Sick or Tired or Have A Lot of Work, but You’re a SENIOR
To you, all of the above tips that would prevent you from going out, just don’t seem to matter anymore when there is a limited time to ride the bull, be a college student, and party like there’s no tomorrow (especially because there soon won’t be a tomorrow). For senior Betsy Klein, FOMO (fear of missing out) makes her decision easier. Although the above situations are good reasons to stay in, take advantage of the time you have left! Unless you’re dying in bed drenched with sweat, you better be getting sweaty on the dance floor.
You Don’t Feel Like Doing Either
You aren’t sick, don’t have work, have no other excuses to sit in your room or the library, but you are just not in the mood to have a crazy night. Minshu Deng, sophomore, explained that while she goes out to spend time with friends, sometimes creating meaningful memories with friends may entail hanging back at her dorm. Chances are if you’re in this situation, one of your friends is in the exact same one. What can you do? Here’s a list:
1. Heat up the popcorn, grab a couple of friends, and watch a movie!
2. Hit the lobby shop before it closes and get some cookie dough or cake mix. Have a baking party!
3. Check out the movies that are showing in the Griffith Film Theatre. You can find the listings for what movies are playing here: http://www.duke.edu/web/movies/calendar.html
4. Invite some girls to come over, paint nails, make a massage circle (maybe inviting some guys wouldn’t be so bad ;), and have a relaxing night.
5. Have a casual get together – get some solo cups and ping pong balls to play b-pong, flip cup, card games, or intoxicated charades (extremely fun, highly recommended).
6. Hit the mall, an off-campus eatery, or even the Duke gardens for some peaceful star-gazing.
7. If you have energy, hit the gym or work-out in your room! Put on some dance music and go crazy! Who says you have to be at Shooters to get it down?
You just have to figure out what will pay off in the end. What is worth what sacrifice, and remembering to the best of your ability that oftentimes, you’ll never know, and that it’s just important to focus on what’s ahead. If you end up going out, and then did poorly on a test, worrying or stressing about what you should have done won’t get you anywhere. On the same note, if you stay in, end up watching TV instead of starting that intimidating pile of readings, and then regret not going out with the ladies, remember that there will always be another night. Even though you hear nothing but “that was THE best night of the year,” trust me when I say that not only will there be other nights, but chances are you have probably had one night in the past that qualifies as “THE best.”
Whatever you decide, COMMIT. Keep one of my favorite quotes in mind, by Marilyn Monroe, “”We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.”
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